JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Group Avatar

CentauriAlpha Fan Fiction

"To See With Eyes Unclouded - Hayao Miyazaki"

Request Join
  • Mission Statement

    This group is a place where other writers and I can share out work with people who love to read about Destiny, as well as to get updates on everything I put out. If you join, I promise, you'll get the best fan fiction I can provide in a reasonable amount of time and I will write to the best of my abilities. I also promise to adhere to the lore of the Destiny universe. There is still much to write about, so I hope you'll take this exciting journey with me.

  • Membership

    332 Members
    Total number of users that have joined this group
    9 Years as a Group
    Total number of years this group has been active
  • Admins

  • Tagged

originally posted in:CentauriAlpha Fan Fiction
Edited by Archangel: 9/13/2015 11:14:48 AM
2

Echoes Chapter 1 (Part II): Ambush

The ground exploded around him as Archangel dove to his left. The Hive knew exactly where he would be, and the perfect time to launch the ambush. Now, a half dozen knights with boomers were pounding his position, providing cover fire for a half dozen more with swords that were moving in for the kill. "Sera!" he roared. "Get us out of here!" He tossed a tripmine grenade at the cluster of knights, but they emerged from the explosion barely touched. The familiar sound of his ghost's computing washed through his mind. "The ship is inbound, but transmat won't be ready for another 15 seconds" she replied calmly. He cursed, then looked back just as the first knight rushed him. The swing of its sword came in the form of a downward slam. Archangel sidestepped, then drove his knife into the knight's neck. Black blood shot from the wound and he smiled. "Soft spot", he thought, as the knight fell to the ground clutching it's neck. As he looked up, Archangel saw that the rest of the knights rushing him were only a dozen yards away. Sera's voice chimed in, "10 seconds." Archangel rolled forward and picked up the fallen knight's blade. The boomers wouldn't fire at their own, and he was going to use that to his advantage. He charged, throwing the three-eyed monstrosities off guard, but only for a second. They accepted the challenge, raising their blades with a roar. They charged, holding their battle cry as the distance between Archangel and the knights dwindled rapidly. Reaching two yards, he drew low into a slide. Their blades sliced through the air above his helmet as he swung his horizontally. The momentum allowed the sword to cut through the knight's bony armor, cutting two right legs clean off. "Three down, three to go," Sera notified him. Archangel dug his front foot into the ground and pivoted hard, burying his blade into the chest of the knight who had the unfortunate luck of standing directly behind him. "Transmat ready. Commencing.." he heard as he shoved the knight down. "Wait Sera n-" was all he could blurt out before he found himself back in the safety of his ship. "Dammit!" he yelled as he punched the wall, "You couldn't have waited until those knights were dead? I wasn't ready yet!" He sighed explosively and collapsed into the cockpit. Sera, short for Seraphim, materialized in front of him, her eye turning from blue to red. She mustered the angriest tone a ghost could and fired back. "You weren't ready? You weren't ready!? Did it occur to you that those sword-bearing knights weren't your only problem? Did you know that there were four more tombships converging on our location? Did you happen to see the swarm of thrall and the ogres behind them coming up the hill? No! You risk your life for the sake of vengeance and combat, and when I try to keep you safe you get contempt with me for it!" Sera turned away from him and hovered above the controls. "I'm setting a course for the tower" she said calmly, "because if you're going to attempt this again, I'd rather your gear be updated, as well as your information." Archangel smiled, but it faded in seconds. "Sera...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken that out on you. You know how I get. Once the adrenaline starts rushing, I'm not in my right mind." he said. "I know Arc...I know.." she replied, then fell silent as she set the coordinates. Finally, she turned back to him. "We'll reach the tower in thirty minutes, get some sleep. You need it. I'll watch the ship and notify you if anything comes up." She turned back to the controls. [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/115693368/0/0]Chapter 1 (Part I): The Beginning of the End[/url] [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/116661010/0/0]Chapter 1 (Part III):Agonizing Memories[/url]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

  • I feel that your action sequences flow smoother than my own. I'm getting jealous...

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    1 Reply
    • I like how the Ghost's eye turns from blue to red. That was a nice little detail and fits in perfectly. I really only saw a few grammatical things. Apostrophes are used to show possession, never use them to form plurals of nouns/proper nouns. [quote]The swing of it's sword came in the form of a downward slam.[/quote] Should be written as: [i]The swing of its sword came in the form of a downward slam.[/i] [i]It's[/i]: Meaning, "it is, or it has" [i]"Look at the time! It's time for us to go!"[/i] It is time for us to go! [i]Its[/i]: The possessive form of it. For instance, the Knight's sword. The sword belongs to the knight, so, therefore, you would write it as, [i]"Its swing came down..."[/i] [quote]archangle saw the rest of the Knight's rush in...[/quote] Take out the apostrophe in [i]Knight's[/i]. You mean more than one Knight rushed Archangle, therefore, it's written as [i]Knights[/i] You would use an apostrophe if you had said [i]The knight's sword...[/i] Because one sword belongs to one knight. Also, be sure to keep your punctuation marks INSIDE of your quotation marks. [quote]"Three down, three to go", Sera notified him.[/quote] [quote]Sera's voice chimed in, "10 seconds".[/quote] [i]"Three down, three to go," Sera notified him.[/i] [i]Sera's voice chimed in, "10 seconds."[/i] I hope that helps you in the future! It can get a little confusing, so, if you need any help just let me know. I'm enjoying this story though, keep it up and be sure to let me know when the next ones come out.

      Posting in language:

       

      Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      1 Reply
      You are not allowed to view this content.
      ;
      preload icon
      preload icon
      preload icon