I'm leaving this group.

And the reason is Whiz. Now she'll probably delete this to try to save face, but I'm going to post our interaction unedited and as it happened. As some of you know, I struggle with bipolar disorder. My mom's in a nursing home and is pretty much not there mentally anymore. I was having a particularly bad day on Thanksgiving and was trying to let it pass as just another Thursday because of the depressive and slightly suicidal episode, and being on my own for a social/family holiday. I took off work the past 3 weeks because my bipolar was acting up pretty badly, and I was tying to find a new doctor. I was describing the struggle and difficulty of finding help in my area, and was also fighting with some very low emotions. So here's the interaction. Whiz: Happy Thanksgiving! May your feast be wonderful and your relatives tolerable :) Drk: Happy Thursday. May I survive solitary confinement and a frozen tv dinner without a gunshot wound. Whiz: I'm just doing dinner for two, my family could care less either. Is it worse when they live close enough to come and can't be bothered to? Drk: I have family fairly close but they're a bunch of sniping back-biters that only seem to give a shit if it benefits them. For example the last I got any help or even heard from that side is when they benefitted from selling Mom's house. Drk: Over a year later, not a word. And at the time they acted like they were doing me a favor while screwing me over. Whiz: sounds familiar, now that we have nothing they are absent, saw them constantly when they could hit me or her up for something before. Drk: Yep. Also sounds like most of the so-called "friends" I've ever had. I'm probably not going to be around too much longer. Whiz: now is the time to seek some pro counseling. they do have suicide hot lines around the holidays. i hope you use your intelligence to seek a better solution. Drk: Einstein described insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. There's one thing I haven't tried in 37 years, and it's about the only thing left. Whiz: but the thought has been repetative, therefore you should think outside the box for a new thought process, like i'm not going to let this beat me no matter what. Drk: Nope, I've been seeking and at times have had professional help. This ain't my first rodeo. I've gotten to the point of being tired of fighting. Fighting gets old when it's all by yourself and you always lose the fight... Drk: The past 3 weeks I've been trying to get help and have found none. I have a meeting with a psych nurse (meds only, no therapy) next month but I'm out of personal time and go back to a trigger-filled job next week before I'm ready Whiz: back to doing things the same, perhaps you are unwilling to try a different approach and have a permanent mindset, try doing the opposite for a different result. Drk: I don't know what the hell your suggesting then. Pro help I have used, it's ALWAYS temporary. There are 2 options... get help or don't. I've done both. Ieven checked myself into the hospital before. If it can be tried, I have. Whiz: I would suggest checking yourself in again. I can offer no other advice, other than don't be so sure it won't help, no one can solve your problems for you, everyone is at least partly responsible for their situations. please get help Drk: Checking myself in would financially ruin me and leave me totally bankrupt and literally homeless. Well worse off than I am now. Also, what part of "I've been seeking help the past 3 WEEKS BUT THERE IS NONE TO BE FOUND" do you not understand? Drk: Not accepting new patients. No availability for the next several months. Your insurance isn't accepted here. Et cetera. Drk: The ONE I did find is just a psych nurse practitioner. No therapy, they just meet with you and then throws different meds at you for awhile to "see what works". I've been through this before and its not much help. Whiz: Socratic know thy self. all I did is wish you well. This is how you alienated everyone. I didn't cause your problems and yet you're taking them out on me. Please stop, get help and let me try to salvage one of the few days I have semi-off. Drk: I've not taken anything out on you. You keep judging that I'm not taking responsibility, but when I describe to you the struggle I'm having at seeking help, you say "this is how I alienate everyone". Take a look in the mirror and -blam!- off. So yeah, I got angry when she stopped listening and started attacking me, and then I let it go. So today I find this lovely message waiting for me: Whiz: As I remove your psychotic backside from my friends, here's a parting shot at reality, some what a stranger to you. You will ALWAYS be a MAN PRETENDING to be a woman. You are a HETEROSEXUAL, not anything more interesting despite efforts on your part to make it appear otherwise. The money you spend on illegal drugs would have easily covered health care costs. You are nothing spiecal, just a drug addict transvestite, dime a dozen. Take your option if you want to, I no longer care. Some of you know, others may not, that I'm transgender. Didn't ask for it, it's just how I turned out. I also enjoy smoking pot when I play video games. Am I stoned 24/7? No, but I do enjoy having a smoke and playing a game or watching a movie. Makes it more fun (and boring grinding more tolerable). So enjoy your fearless leader. I've seen her get more and more like this as time goes on. I know why, I understand the difficulties she's facing. However she's always attacking unprovoked and always considering things as an attack against her that are plainly not attacks, and often, not even directed at her. I'll no longer stand up for her and do not consider her a friend. I also don't want to be associated with anything she's a part of. Happy to continue friendship with anyone else.