Hottest dating experience ever?

>be 15 8/10 girl repeatedly posts "hi again" and ":)" on my wall. 2 hour long conversations waste all topics she wants to meet me the next day I have nothing to talk about, I can only talk about anime and videogames awkward silence spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets oh god not again face gets red "h-hey so have you h-heard about the angry videogame n-nerd?" "angry videogame what?" struggling to control my embarrassment clenching asscheeks together to hold my shit meanwhile spaghetti flows out of my pockets voice reduced to a mumble "angry video games cartoon waifu please you me please" "are you ok?" shit breaches through my asscheeks propelled forward 60 mph crash through the girl she's holding on to me for dear life all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes crashes through entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face yelling "VIDEOGAMES NERD WAIFU CARTOONS PLEASE GIRL" girl is covered in shit and spaghetti my pockets show no signs of stopping she tilts me backwards the sheer force of my shit has reached 650mph, we are now propelling upwards children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below 3 miles upward girl has died from lack of oxygen, her body fails to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit the transformation is almost complete as I leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail [b]true story[/b]