Paradox: The Dredgen Yor Journals 9

Hi, all! This is another facet of Rezyl Azzir/Dredgen Yor (gamer tag Basket34Ball) Paradox story, told from the perspective of James' rival Dredgen Yor in a series of journal entries. This only complements the series, so you won't get the full experience just reading this. This is a link to the Table of Contents: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/222610151?page=0&sort=0&showBanned=0&path=0 If you're ambitious, here's the first part to get you started: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/222438285?page=0&sort=0&showBanned=0&path=0 Hope you enjoy! __________________________________________________________________________________________ [u][b]Entry 1685[/b][/u] There's [i]got [/i]to be something here. There's just [i]got [/i]to be. [i]Damn it, where is it?[/i] This Hive tome was literally dripping with stuff on cheating death. Why would I -- Shrimp, have you lost your mind? [i]No[/i], I haven't. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHY I'M -- why I'm... *heavy sobs break out* What'd I do wrong, Shrimp? Tell me there was something I could've done...no, don't tell me. If it was my fault...If I somehow... She was right beside me! We were fighting back-to-back, how could I have missed anything? One moment she was standing, the next you told me Ana was down. HA HA HA! You know, for some [i]stupid[/i], god awful twisted reason, I wasn't worried? Her Ghost was right above her, my Light would make her safe and sound. I grabbed her Ghost...do you know what it's name was? Fine, [i]her[/i] name, WHATEVER! No? [i]Then why'd the f*** you just get after me about something as stupid as an AI's gender identity if you didn't know its name?![/i] Her Ghost was [i]in my hand[/i]...and then that stupid Stealth Vandal came out of nowhere and stabbed through it and into my heart. I saw pure hate and evil in its eyes before I died. I died. I died I died and you rezzed my and I saw [i]RED[/i]. No G** d*** Fallen was safe, I was living [i]murder[/i]! And I tore that Vandal to pieces! Somehow, Thorn was in my hand again -- don't ask me how it got there, I [i]swear[/i] it was in my safe at home. But I shot that Vandal again and again and again and [i]again[/i] until its head was paste, then I rent the armor from its body, stripped the flesh from its bones and ground them into the dirt, and wore the f****** bones like a god of death! And I was the Fallen's death. I could have killed every single [i]stinking[/i] one of them if I'd been given the chance. I would have chased them all down after they retreated, I would have burned them all at stakes! *more sobbing* It took them a whole week to get to her funeral. Not that they put her off on purpose, there were just so many dead. Nobody would look after the kids. Can you believe it? Both of them, under three years old, and I had to take them to their mother's funeral. They'll never know what she was like, [i]what[/i] she liked, what made her laugh, cry, scream...smile... *sniffs loudly* They will. They can't - [i]I[/i] can't - live without her. I'm going to find something in these damn books if it kills me. Or until James kicks me out for trying. Can you believe, after all the buddying-up we've been doing, trying to build our relationship, that [i]punk[/i] has the nerve to come here after the funeral and tell me that her death was my fault? A**hole! My God, I could have killed him for that alone! But then he has go further and blame my damn corruption. That was more than I could take. I didn't care if he was the Speaker or what, I was going to lay him on his [i]a**[/i]. Kept up with his fighting skills better than I gave him credit for, though. Got a few good licks in of his own. Don't know how much longer it'd have gone on if Courtney hadn't found Thorn and pointed it at James. You should have seen - wait, you did see him. He was afraid of a dumpy little toddler pointing a gun at him. Absolutely terrified. He was probably more afraid of Thorn, so when I took it from Courtney and told him to get the hell out, he said my entire family was cursed with Darkness. I swear, James is afraid of the Dark more than most. Not me. If these books have what I think they do, there's a way to bring Ana back...maybe more Guardians. There has to be. You're right. James won't let me find out here. He'll figure out some way to set the Vanguard against me, or exile me. I can beat him to it. I'll leave. Find some village in the wilds, raise the kids, conduct research. We gotta pack. It's now or never. I can't take a chance that he won't come for me tonight. Help me get our things ready, Shrimp.