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originally posted in:Destiny Fiction Producers
Edited by Star-Catcher1000: 7/22/2017 12:30:38 AM
6

TF Light Among Darkness: Chapter 1, Patrollin'

Oh yeah! The Frontier is back! This is gonna be so awesome! I've got a possible double crossover going on here, a new story, and new characters! The Virgo Prohibition was stirring. Blind Legion had stirred up the figurative hornets nest when they had decided to venture into the vex catacombs and take technology from a the corpse of a large Vex Mind in the area that they had killed. Because of this, dozens of Goblins, Harpies and Hobgoblins had warped out from under The Red Planet’s surface to wreak havoc on everything. The Sand Eaters were clashing with the VP, making for a very chaotic battle indeed. An invisible watcher observed the scene, crouched partially behind the top of a large sand dune. “How is it?” The watcher asked, a man of few words. “So far so bad.” Said his companion. “Sand Eaters are being chipped away, these VP are pretty much an endless tide.” The watcher loaded a fusion rifle and flipped his knife. “Let's whittle them down a little bit.” Said Orion. The guardian went invisible again, and sprinted over behind the swarming vex, as quiet as death. His knife flashed, and a Goblin was torn in two by its razor sharp blades. With a thrumming noise, his Fusion Rifle charged and pumped out three blasts that each found their marks in the metal chassis of a Hobgoblin, its void-ed body floating into the Ether. “Cannon!” Shouted Orion, and Spark gave him his hand cannon just as another goblin opened fire on him. The hunter spun his pistol and easily picked off the Goblin’s juice box without looking through his scope. Orion simply danced through the vex. He stuck one with a flux grenade, kicked another in the chest, and took a head off with his hand cannon. The fusion grenade destroyed two other Vex when it detonated, and Orion easily finished the headless hobgoblin. Over the din of the battle, Orion heard the signature squeal of an angry Minotaur. He dodged a ground slam from the large vex, and channeled Arc through his body. Wreathed in elemental lightning, the hunter pushed himself off the ground and into the Minotaur, only to be unceremoniously grabbed and slammed against the ground. Thinking fast, Orion grappled the large Vex’s arm and cut it off, easily overloading the Minotaur’s shields and slicing through Vex metals with extreme temperature. Uncaring, the Minotaur flattened Orion against the ground and tried to crush his helmet, only for a knife to lodge itself into its head. The Minotaur squealed and grabbed at the knife, trying to pull it out, but Orion got up quickly and punched the Arc Blade through the Minotaur’s metal head, zapping it with Arc Energy. Running at a dead sprint, Orion trashed a few more Vex before his Super finally ran out. “Nice work. But there are still quite a few Vex left.” Spark noted. “Thanks, buddy. Was just starting to feel accomplished.” Orion said dryly. Spark equipped his rocket launcher for him, and after Orion put a shell in the mouth, he took careful aim. Half a dozen Vex were torn apart and thrown into the air, while the sand turned to glass. Another rocket obliterated a gang of Harpies that were trying to flank the cabal units. With that, most of the Virgo Prohibition retreated back to wherever Vex go when they are defeat. Orion spun his hand cannon and faced the Cabal soldiers, and then blinked. “Spark, where are we again?” Asked Orion, slightly confused even though he had been patrolling for a while. “Devil’s gulch.” Spark responded after rechecking his map of Mars. “That's it. Sorry, memory wipe.” Orion explained, and tapped his helmet with a finger. Suddenly, he heard a roar from the Cabal units. The large centurion from before beat its chest, and pointed to the Guardian. “Interesting. He-” “Or she.” Interrupted Orion. “Cabal have no sexual dimorphism; you know.” Spark made an irritated noise. “Yes, thank you for that. I was going to say that that Centurion wants to challenge you to single combat. Interesting.” Orion spun a metal arm. “Well, I shouldn’t leave him hanging.” He said jokingly. The Centurion shed her weapons and charged at the guardian, as Orion did the same with his gear. The two champions clashed with a crash, Orion’s guardian strength and abilities clashing against the brute force and size of the Centurion. Orion jumped in a full body kick to push back the Centurion, and only succeeded in breaking the solar shields surrounding its body. The Centurion stomped in Orion’s location and dented his chestplate, but Orion put his strength to use and pushed the Centurion off of him. The Cabal stumbled backwards, off balance, and Orion used this advantage to knock the Cabal down. The Centurion tried to bum-rush Orion and body slam him, but Orion dodged the attack and kicked the Cabal Commander in the back. Getting in a choke hold position as the Centurion stumbled, Orion straddled her back and got his hands around the thick neck, attempting to snap it. He failed, though, when the Centurion grabbed him by his shoulders and threw him against the ground. Coming up with a new plan, Orion did a spin kick and hit the Centurion across the face. He followed up with an uppercut, and then a rapid series of blows that the cabal could not block. While the Cabal was stunned, he grabbed the Centurion by the helmet, braced himself, and tore the helmet off with all of his might. The Centurion clawed at her head, but the pressure gel in her armor spewed out, and she died. The Cabal soldiers roared in anguish, and advanced towards him, less organized now that their Centurion was dead. Orion whistled. “You'd think they would run away after I just brutally killed their commander.” “Cabal have no word for retreat. Now go! Kick their a$$es!” Cheered Spark. Orion threw another Flux grenade, which stuck to the shield of a Phalanx, and opened fire on the Cabal soldiers with his hand cannon. He shot a Phalanx’s wrist and quickly pickedits helmet off when it flinched, just as the solar rocket of a Harvester blasted him straight in the chest and sent him tunbling ten meters away, into a rock. He ducked behind said rock and waited for his burned armor and metal flesh to be regenerated. His Ghost was already working hard on repairing his chest, but it would take longer than he had, with the Cabal advancing on his position. “Ghost, this isn't looking good.” They heard the buzz of a sparrow, but it was too quiet for them to identify.“I know, Orion, I'm the one healing you right now. You are in no position to fight with that melted chest.” The sparrow got louder. “No, I can- do you hear that?” Orion peeked around the corner, and saw a Cabal legionary be tossed into the air like a sack of potatoes. He saw the swift figure of a guardian moving through the Cabal and breaking their armor with swift, powerful punches and thunderous blasts from what looked like an old pre-golden-age blunderbuss. “Come on, Spark! Keep healing me!” Yelled Orion as he ran out to assist the guardian. “Why did I pick him.” Sighed Spark, and hovered to keep up his repairs. Orion picked off two phalanxes, and finally the guardian pumped a full round of buckshot into the chest of a final Cabal. From the way the final Cabal disintegrated into Void with a punch, he deduced the guardian was a defender Titan. When he saw the Titan turn towards him, he glanced at their armor and determined it was a she. “Hey!” Orion said with a wave. “Thanks for helping out!” “No problem!” She responded. “I had no idea you were actually there, until you came out. Also, thanks for helping me with the Cabal.” Orion chuckled. “The least I could do is help you help me. My name is Orion.” He said, and blinked a few meters closer. “Howdy! My name is Tara.” She replied cheerily. The two shook hands. The two guardians talked, and decided to stick together. They used their sparrows, and quickly found a few patrol beacons, of which they completed until norm were left. Searching an area named Lighting Butte, they came across a Goliath Tank battling with the Vex. “Mag!” Shouted Tara, and Orion tossed her a brick of Heavy Ammo. Dozens of rounds spewed from the maw of her machine gun, and before long a thruster exploded. After her ammo ran out, Tara quickly pushed out her Ward of Dawn for both of them, so that the rocket hurtling towards them did nothing. Getting an idea, Orion asked Spark to equip the old Ahamkara Hunting spear Shaxx had given him a while back. The hunter leapt high into the air and flooded his whole body with the Arc, activating what he had before considered his Arc Blade. He streaked towards the Goliath tank and plunged the spear into one of the Tank’s last thrusters. In an effort to dislodge him the Goliath thrusted backwards, but Orion flipped through the air and plunged the spear into it again. Tara threw a suppression grenade to finish it, and Tank detonated in an orange fireball. Orion stumbled out of the edge of the wreck, singed but unharmed. His Arc ran out, and he braced himself against a boulder. “That was stupid.” He said. Tara laughed. “Agreed. Listen, I've got to run. I would love to stay and kill shit with you, but…” “...Duty calls.” Orion finished. “It was nice shooting with you, Orion.” Tara said, smiling beneath her helmet. Orion shook her hand. “And the same to you, Tara. Safe travels.” Tara sped away on her sparrow. Orion sighed, watching the stars and dangling his feet over the edge of Lightning Butte. “You had fun, Orion. I had fun just watching you.” Spark said. Orion nodded. “I haven't seen you this happy since-” “Drop it.” Orion said suddenly, colder now. Spark sighed. “Sorry.” The moment was quickly engulfed by the darkness of the night. “I'm thinking of sleeping, Spark. Today was a good day.” Orion said. “Right. Goodni-” Orion squinted at a bright streak that grew closer and closer. Just before it crashed, Orion clearly saw the outline of a burning ship. “Well, Spark. It looks like we'll have to stay up a little longer than planned.” He said.

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  • Great chapter, but it felt choppy. There were missing details in the battles that made the action feel like only half the experience. Although I do understand that you shortened the chapter to fit the character limit, it may have been better to split this into two parts and put the second section in the comments Also try making a new paragraph each time someone else starts talking, it's a rule of literature writing and it makes it easier to follow what's happening. The dialogue itself was great, and I'm excited to see what happens with the crashed ship and any future encounters with Tara

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