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Edited by PureBeast72:
9/14/2017 10:39:17 AM
840
Chuck Norris Jokes - Destiny 2 Version
I'll start, and you tell me your Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris bought Thorn from the Gunsmith
Chuck Norris gave Gjallarhorn to Xûr
Chuck Norris found the 10th VoG chest on the release date
Chuck Norris didn't jump out of the bubble in time, Time's Vengeance was extended
Your turn
How about this one?
[spoiler]Why don't people mention Bruce Lee like they mention Chuck Norris?[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Because Bruce Lee ain't a f*cking joke![/spoiler]
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The Vex travel through time to find a period when Chuck Norris doesn't exist
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The Chuck Norris faction was cut because of unachievable xp requirements
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Which super would Chuck Norris use? All of them. A hunter tried to sneak up on Chuck Norris once....... Once. Chuck Norris is the only one to ever drop a Titan mid FoH. If Chuck Norris ever walked through a vex gate and faced himself, Chuck Norris would win. Period.
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Smoggypluto once fought Chuck Norris to a firefight, the battle lasted .001 nanoseconds. They just shook hands, and the world was no more, we're all just a program they both created to entertain themselves in the abyss of nothing
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The Thrall make sure the lamps are turned on when Chuck Norris enters the abyss Oryx is the Son of Chuck Norris The Cabal don't blow up planets out of their own will. They do it under the orders of Chuck Norris Public events make sure they're completed upon the arrival of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris decides he wants some cheese that was recently patched. The game reverts back to a point where said cheese can be eaten The Cryptarch always decrypts engrams into exotics for Chuck Norris Chuck Norris' Fatebringer is leveled to 331 The Traveler came to Earth to escape Chuck Norris Chuck Norris spotted a Gorgon in the Labyrinth. He has found his prey
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2 RepliesIn the Gorgon's Maze, the Gorgons avoid Chuck Norris's gaze. When a Gorgon dies, it is CHUCK who grows stronger
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Whenever a Hunter throws a tripmine at Chuck Norris he just throws the grenade back to the hunter and he blows up.
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The archon priest saw chuck Norris and asked to be put back in his cell
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The Speaker actually told Chuck Norris about the great battle.
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2 RepliesA fireteam looking to do Crota's End once attempted to kick Chuck Norris. And thus, in a move of mercy by Chuck, Eris Morn was left alive to tell the tale.
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Chuck Norris is no joke.....
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Edited by YourMother1972: 3/31/2015 7:28:15 PMChuck Norris is a Titan cause he never blinks. Warlocks are created from the beard of Chuck Norris. Crota's End is actually a sequel to Norris Arriving
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Hunters use arc blade to get away from chuck Norris
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In the story The Black Garden the vex aren't kneeling to the spire but to a cardboard cutout of Chuck Norris
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Edited by Guise-42: 3/31/2015 6:06:58 AM[quote]Chuck Norris pulled the Thorn from a lion's paw, and made both his pets. Chuck Norris sneezed on an Unfriendly Giant and created the Gjallarhorn. Chuck Norris opened the VOG by knocking on the door. Chuck Norris checked his watch and activated Time's Vengeance. [/quote] Fixed* More: The Stranger made time to explain for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris woke the Hive, then put them back to sleep. Chuck Norris brought the Queen two Gatelord eyes. Chuck Norris uses the starter gun in the hard raid after his fists run out of ammo. Chuck Norris turned on the lights and defeated the Darkness. The Archon Priest stayed in his cell for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has facial hair options on character creation. Chuck Norris is the third subclass. The Cabal blow up planets and moons to try and stop Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris solos both gatekeeper portals. At the same time. Chuck Norris is a public event. Chuck Norris' super has no cooldown because his super is his fists. Chuck Norris can still push the Templar off. Chuck Norris dropped the Relic because he didn't need it.
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Edited by George RR Martin: 3/29/2015 11:41:33 PMChuck Norris killed Crota using No Land Beyond... Then he used bullets.
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Chuck Noris had weight of darkness X10 and 1,500 thrall were chasing him, he had no gun but there was a gally next to him. He took them all out! AND THEN HE PICKED UP THE GALLY ;)
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Gorgons die from Chuck Norris' gaze
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The stranger explained to Chuck Norris why she [b]DID[/b] have time to explain.
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Edited by Pan the Enigma: 3/31/2015 12:22:28 PMChuck Norris put the blood on Red Death.
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4 RepliesChuck Norris caps A in Blind Watch. And wins.
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These are actually rather fun to write. Here's some more :D I hear Chuck Norris scared the Archon Priest right back into his cell. Instead of "We've woken the Hive!!!", when Chuck Norris first opens the Temple of Crota, his ghost shouts, "KNOCK KNOCK MO--blam!-AS, OPEN YO MOUTH, CUZ HERE IT COMES!!" Chuck Norris didn't need an eye of the gatelord. He went up to the entrance to the Heart of the Black Garden, and kicked in the door. Thorn bullets cause Chuck Norris to regenerate health. The same thing is also true of Poison Clouds and Vestige Circles. Chuck Norris was the first person to solo Crota's End using only his left cheek, and right elbow. Chuck Norris enters a game of Iron Banner at level 11, and finishes in first place. He also has the IB helmet. This is Chuck Norris' vault: https://www.bungie.net/pubassets/36740/vault_biggest.jpg
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Gjallahorn kills 99.9% of enemies in one shot. Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever the -blam!- he wants
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Kabr is Chuck Norris's gamer tag.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with the oversoul and won.
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2 RepliesChuck Norris got stuck by a fusion grenade and the warlock blew up
