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Edited by Britton: 4/30/2015 4:16:36 AM
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Creatively open this box.

Open this box in a creative manner and ill tell you whats inside. Lack of imaginations need not apply. If you're lame the box wont open. [b]2000+ replies[/b] best thread ever [b]I will be replying at my leisure. Feel free to help others open the box.[/b] 1. [b][u]YOUR DICK WONT OPEN THE BOX[/u][/b] 2. Saliva isnt a good box opener either.

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  • First, I'd take the box out to dinner and a show, you know show it a really nice time. I would try my best to befriend and hopefully seduce the box just to explore its contents. However, against the best of efforts, I find the box was bored with me, and resorted to opening itself every time a FedEx commercial comes on. Angered, I try my best to satisfy the box. Foreplay with box cutters, wrapping it in masking tape, packing its rear end full of foam peanuts, and anything else to make it open for me, and nobody else. It would be at that point that the box would be taking my life over, because I would be stuck on a never ending quest of trying to satisfy this horrible box, who only takes me for granted. Then I find the box with a loose sheet of cardboard, top open wide. Just for a piece of cardboard who can't even fold itself. Can't shape up. I grab a knife and slash every inch of that slutty box who doesn't give a -blam!- about me or anyone else for that matter. I use every ounce of hate and anger inside me to end that box, and eviscerate anything inside. Alas, for the first time finally opens. Just for me.

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    • Imaginaaation

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      • Uses warlock melee to make the box explode

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        • HAMMER SMASH!!

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          • Lick it until the cardboard disintegrates

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            • I'd pimp out the box, make it work long nights on the strip, until it tries to keep the money from me. I'll bitch slap it so good, it'll spill everything out.

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              • Burn a hole in its corner and shake it out

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                • Step one have freckles sniff box Step two have freckles use her tail to open box Step three place facehugger in box Step four laugh at the next unlucky person to open box

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                • Use my teeth. If that doesn't work, I'm going Edward Scissorhands on that thing.

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                • Edited by SlicedHaloman67: 3/5/2015 4:34:03 AM
                  Ima poke it with mah dick until it opens

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                • Strap Aerosol cans on all sides Throw in fire Wait for boom ??? Profit

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                • Tape a knife to my genitals and stab the box violently

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                • Edited by RogueSPARTAN264: 3/5/2015 3:54:50 AM
                  *sticks penis inside top of box* *cuts bottom of box open and walks around showing people my dick in a box* ???? Profit

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                • I would poke it then it would turn out to be a trans-dimensional portal that put me on a spec of dust inside the box and the spec is proportional to earth because I would be shrunk too. Then since because... Spec Pec Pecs are square And a square cut diagonally OMFG!!!! TRIANGLE LOOMINATI CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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                • I just cut it open

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                  • I'll... [spoiler]open it[/spoiler]

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                  • 1. Look at box 2. Leave room 3. Come back 3 hours later with sword 4. Cut open the box.

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                  • I will wrap the box in a bacon flavored condom. I will drive to the Space Needle and have dinner with the box. Then, we will drive up to the forest where I will introduce the box to my Illuminati co workers. We will then conduct rituals using ping pong balls and Reese's Sticks. Afterwards, me and the box will head up north for sexy times. We will get ambushed by a group of Lvl. 3 Fags and they will kidnap the box. I will then search for it for 13 years until I find in a monastery in the Tibet mountain range. Me and the box will hold off waves of ninjas and then escape using a secret cave system in the mountain. We will travel to Shambala and befriend the yetis. The yetis help us master the xXx_720blazeitdewitonosc0pe_xXx. We will use that skill to defeat the Slum Lords of the West. The box's protective condom layer will rip during the boss fight and it will get shot by a twelve gauge. I will xXx_720blazeitdewitonosc0pe_xXx the main Slum Lord of the West and he will die. The box, while bleeding out, will fall open and die.

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                    • Edited by Nilbog: 2/25/2015 6:08:26 AM
                      1) Approach your opponent (box) 2) Bow respectfully 3) Show him your favorite finger. 4) Disorient it with your fart of ultimate doom 5) While disoriented, penetrate box, Shrek style 6) -insert lenny here-

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                      • 1.) Clinch ass checks on box flap. 2.) Shift to the right. 3.) Get boner. 4.) Use boner to lift flap opposite of the flap in your ass crack. 5.) Wait for five hours in the hope that the box remains in its current position after you release. 10 out a' 10, m8.

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                      • I'll start having a pleasent conversation with the box, When she is ready, I'll have a date with the box, Later i'll kiss the box passionetly, We will cuddle, And then the box should just magically open ;)

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                      • *Looks at box *Leaves thread

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                      • Train a small dog to use it's snout to push I pleb the box, then enlist the aid of a small asian man to retrieve It's contents. Then I shall open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

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                      • 1. Observe the box 2. Report to my cohorts about the nature of the box 3. Observe the box with my cohorts 4. ??? 5. Discuss quietly with my cohorts The box opens

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                      • I don't need to open it. I can just approach it from a different direction and reach inside.

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                        • Step one: cut a hole in the box Step two: put your -wibbly wobbly timey wimey!- in it Step 3: open secret folders Step 4:????? Step 6: box opens.

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