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Edited by Britton:
4/30/2015 4:16:36 AM
800
Creatively open this box.
Open this box in a creative manner and ill tell you whats inside.
Lack of imaginations need not apply. If you're lame the box wont open.
[b]2000+ replies[/b] best thread ever
[b]I will be replying at my leisure. Feel free to help others open the box.[/b]
1. [b][u]YOUR DICK WONT OPEN THE BOX[/u][/b]
2. Saliva isnt a good box opener either.
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2 Replies*walks up to box* *pumps shotgun* :3 *uses tip of gun to open box flap*
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3 RepliesIma just run past it a bunch of times until I open the flaps with the draft I make.
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1 ReplyScream open sesame until it heeds my demands.
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1 ReplyWell it is simple really. -First we acquire a hamster and fine tune the ability of conditioning it to eat only cardboard on command -Second we will get many more and do the same with our fine tuned skills. -Third buy a throne and dub yourself the hamster lord -Now this is the important part, since a lord is too important to be seen touching such filth as a box, have the hamsters eat it all away Box opened, no mess, and a little army at your beck and call
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2 RepliesStep 1: become a Shaolin Monk Step 2: use the Changing Chopsticks to shrink to a sub-atomic height Step 3: become Chell Step 4: acquire a portal gun Step 5: put a portal in the box through the gaps between the particles Step 6: go through portal Step 7: go back to normal height Step 8: rip the box from the inside-out.
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3 RepliesSometimes I like to roll up into a ball, pour red sauce on me, and pretend I'm a meatball.
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I slowly stroke it's four corners thus making opening itself and thrusting all its contents to the floor.
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Alright, ready?! Here's what you do... You take the box, run outside, hop in your private jet, fly around the world 3.141592654 times until you reach the approximate speed of light then curve your plane at the right velocity at the right spot to open the correct wormhole that sends you back in time to the moment before JFK got shot, jump out at the exact moment the bullet is fired, enter the matrix, find the right frequency, pop back out of the matrix somewhere along the bullets trajectory, align the box so that the flaps line up with the bullet as it rips through the packaging tape, re-enter the matrix as your plane crashes into JFK's ride so as to keep the timeline accurate, find terminator, ride out of the matrix on his bike, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky, fall out of the sky........................ ... i have failed... I almost had it though :P
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Step one: cut a hole in the box...
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1 ReplyPut my junk in the whole labeled junk and then Jin around screaming cause I can't get it off... Then bang into a wall and dinklebot opens it only to find that the contents have been violently master bated on
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Burn it because I dont care
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3 RepliesI shall lick the box until it opens from melting of the saliva.
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1 ReplyHarness the power of Morgan Freeman's voice. Spend 20 years learning his ways. Harness the power. Open the box- WID YO VOICE. [spoiler]maybe like scissors 2 maybe[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesI feel the box, carboard. The smooth surface just a little dusty. I take my right hand and put it on the edge of the the opening and peer inside, darkness. I take my left hand and put it along the edge with my right hand. Whatever is inside this box will become mine. My curiosity begins to grow and my uneasiness along with it. [i]Should I open it? What will happen after that[/i] I think to myself. I swallow my gut and open the box. Inside it is whatever Op claims it to be.
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1 ReplyEdited by DigitalNinja: 3/7/2015 7:45:42 AM*emerges from the shadows* *Places a grappling hook on each side of the box, then pulls the box apart* *duct tapes the box back together and opens normally*
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1 ReplyAcknowledge the box as our lord and savior.Then crucify box at the cross.
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5 Replies> gets a science PhD > travels back in time > gets Shroedinger > makes cat noises > gets him to open the box.
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1 ReplyStep one cut a hole in the box. Step two pit yo junk in the box. Step three open the box. And that's the way you do it.
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4 RepliesI throw the holy handgrenade of Antioch at it. After counting to 3.
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2 Replies1. Find a machete 2. Pick nose with handle of machete 3. Stick what you got out of your nose on the top of the box 4. Stick a piece of dynamite to the booger 5. Use dynamite as handle to open first flap 6. Put fan underneath second flap 7. Hold fan there until flap opens 8. Make sure you aren't blind 9. If you aren't blind look in box 10. You find another box in the box 11. Make inception noises as you take the acting tape off smaller box 12. Get two corks and two nails to use as handles for the mini-flaps 13. Open box 14. Find contents of box 15. Scream like a little girl 16. Or a disappointed girl depending on what you get 17. That is all
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1 ReplyI run to a monastery sitting on a cliff in Ireland. I ask for the divine power of box-opening, but before I receive this gift, I must endure a trial by fire; I must run a gauntlet consisting of running through a pit of scorpions, jumping over a pit of boiling oil, and climbing out of a pit of constantly rising lava (these monks like pits). After I have completed my journey, I am rewarded with the power to open any box I choose. All I must do now to open the box is utter the phrase "The fresh cows are a new town car", and focus my mind on the lid slowly opening. I return to the box, utter the phrase, focus my mind, and the lid opens. Now, tell me, teacher, what may I find inside?
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6 RepliesI would use a plunger.
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2 RepliesI gain superpowers and throw it around the world and when it comes back around, shoot it with a ball of flames, it falls to the ground and opens.
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1 ReplyIll just change the gravity on the hinge causing it to fall up
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1 ReplyI'll go in all Indiana Jones on that box
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1 ReplyFirst, I'd take the box out to dinner and a show, you know show it a really nice time. I would try my best to befriend and hopefully seduce the box just to explore its contents. However, against the best of efforts, I find the box was bored with me, and resorted to opening itself every time a FedEx commercial comes on. Angered, I try my best to satisfy the box. Foreplay with box cutters, wrapping it in masking tape, packing its rear end full of foam peanuts, and anything else to make it open for me, and nobody else. It would be at that point that the box would be taking my life over, because I would be stuck on a never ending quest of trying to satisfy this horrible box, who only takes me for granted. Then I find the box with a loose sheet of cardboard, top open wide. Just for a piece of cardboard who can't even fold itself. Can't shape up. I grab a knife and slash every inch of that slutty box who doesn't give a -blam!- about me or anyone else for that matter. I use every ounce of hate and anger inside me to end that box, and eviscerate anything inside. Alas, for the first time finally opens. Just for me.
