Feeling like there is no real point in like existing, I know I won't make a large impact on the world or anything of the sort, I'm more of a disappointment to my family then an over achiever. And I just feel nothing most of the time, I do have a girlfriend who I love and care for but sometimes that doesn't even help.
On top of that my mom has a severe drug addiction and no matter what we have told her she just won't go get the help she needs, she is stubborn and hard headed and i don't even feel like she is much of a mom to me anymore. She neglected me most of my life due to drugs and I never met my real dad, I do have a step dad who is awesome and tries his best to make us happy. But I still just feel I don't belong here.
It just tears me apart day by day and I feel myself slipping.
I get no sleep and my only like way out is video games which i haven't played due to school. Sorry about the long text and the shitty grammar.
English
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Wow, talk about a deep existential crisis. Been there before. Just try not to dwell on it okay? Once you do, it will completely screw your head over.
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I'm trying, I'm currently in class EATTING ritz crackers. Pretty relaxed.
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Also, I just push people away often, I'm just scared I guess, I've been hurt and left by many of my friends and I don't want it happening more so I stray away from even making friends anymore.
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Wow. You're social skills are worse then mine. But I can kind of relate to you. I don't know who my real dad is either. Apparently at the time when I was really little, a baby still, my mom left my real dad because he had a drug addiction and didn't care to take care of me. My mom raised me by herself until I was probably around four. Just loke your step dad. Though you're step dad has probably taken care of you for a lot longer than three years. Anyways the point is you need to stick up for yourself. If you simply say things -doesn't matter what it is- you're bound to find someone who likes you enough to be your friend. Stay positive, like I've told many people on here. Negative thoughts can only make things worse. Not better. I've for quite awhile now thought that life was pointless for me. Not because I was neglected but because I'm called so many shitty names and always told how stupid I am at home by my dad. As long as no one's treating you like shit at home you're mostly good. You're mom may have issues but that doesn't need to bother you. Getting away from someone like her is what's best until she realizes the bad that she's doing to you guys. Stubborn people don't usually change though. If you look at a post of mine from early (the really long one) you'll understand why. I wish you well out there friend.
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I apologize i haven't replied, thank you man. I'm doing pretty good as of today. Thanks for the kind words.
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You're welcome. I just wish I could remember what this was all about.