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Edited by Eigerphant:
8/10/2015 4:58:02 PM
1399
Let's hear your best joke
Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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Feminism...
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Want a funny joke huh? I got this. "Feminists" Hahahah
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4 RepliesA man a woman are making love, when their young boy walks in terrified and runs out. The mother says 'oh my god! what are we going to do!' then the father says 'I'll handle this.' He walks out and goes into the boys room. He sees the boy on his grandmother's lap, up and down, up and down, and the boy says 'Not so funny when it's your mom, is it
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2 RepliesIf i was a watermelon would you spit or swallow my seed
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An IRS agent goes to audit a synagogue and asks the rabbi A.what sort of expenses do you have rabbi? R.hardly any my child A.hows that? R.well you see recycle alot of what we use here candles the wax that melts and drips is made into new candles. A.really thats pretty efficient. R.we also take any bread crumbs and make them into dough to remake into bread again. A.hmmm...i may have to cite you for that. R.well thats to be expected because every year we keep all the leftover foreskins from circumsitions and the IRS sends us a complete prick!
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5 RepliesWant my best joke?[spoiler]Destiny[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhat do you call a bunch of Mexicans in a pool?????? [spoiler]bean dip!!![/spoiler]
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2 RepliesA man goes to a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It was a shih tzu.
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1 ReplyVelcro, what a rip off!
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Make up sex isn't all what it's cracked up to be. Now can someone please teach me how to get mascara off?
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A man walks into a bar ans says "Where can I get some free gas?" The barman says "Well you can get some here but it will cost you..." "How much?" "Your freedom." "That's what Obama said when I wanted to work as a chef..."
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9 RepliesHere goes nothing.... Husband was getting ready to go on a camping trip with the wife on the weekend. So he asks "Are you ready?" She replies "I dont want to go anymore." So he gives her a choice "ok you can suck my D and we go and ill do everything for you, just sit and look pretty. Or you can let me do you from behind and you stay home and ill go alone. Ill be back for the answer in a few." So he goes off packing the stuff for his camping trip in the car. He comes back in 30 min and asks "have you decided?" She says " yes, i dont feel like getting it from behind so ill just give you head and go" So the husband proceeds to take his junk out his pants as the wife kneels. She goes down on him once and immediately spits out and replies "why the -blam- does it taste so shi++y!!" [spoiler]He says "oh yeah the dog decided not to go"[/spoiler]
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9 Replieswhats the difference between boy scouts and jews?[spoiler]boy scouts make it back from camp[/spoiler]
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8 RepliesThe Bible says Jesus fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Hitler made over 5 million Jews toast.
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Super good advice
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Friends are a lot like trees, they fall down if you hit them with an axe
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1 ReplyWhat do u tell a woman with 2 black eyes [spoiler]nothing u already told her twice[/spoiler]
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Womens rights
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1 ReplyThats humor so dark a policeman shot it." "TheTwo Towers: An Auschwitz love story" "Why were the people in the world trade center so mad? They ordered pizza but all they got was plane." "Why are pills white? Because they work." "I painted my computer black hoping it would run faster. Now it doesn't work." "You'd think that after the holocaust all the jewish girls would be hot."
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3 Repliesa black kid walks into a store and buys something
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What do you get when you mix an African and a Veit? Vinegar!
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1 ReplyTake off your clothes and let me take a pikachu [spoiler]say it slowly [/spoiler]
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A woman is shopping in a supermarket, late at night. She is slowly going about her business, getting all of her essentials. After a good hour of picking up the required materials, she goes to the cashier with 2 loaves of whole wheat bread, a dozen eggs, 2 gallons of milk, half a pound of sliced american cheese, half a pound of sliced smoked Virginia ham, a box of Toll House Pita crackers, 2 boxes of Lucky Charms, a box of tampons, and a LifeWater Zero, lemonade flavored. The cashier, a pimply teenager, lazily swipes his eyes over the woman's items and seems to be in a light state of pondering. After a short moment, he begins to mark her items. Once he is done, he looks to her and says, "Your total is $78.34." As the woman begins to dig through her purse for her pocketbook, the cashier speaks up again. "You know," he says, "I can't help but notice that you must be single." The woman's head snapped up as she blushed and looked at the cashier quizzically. "How did you know?" She asked with genuine wonder. [spoiler]"Because you're -blam!-ing ugly."[/spoiler]
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Ur mum lol [spoiler]actually my life[/spoiler]
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6 RepliesWhat's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? [spoiler]the black Jew sits at the back of the gas chamber.[/spoiler] What do you call a black women who's had several abortions? [spoiler]a crime fighter[/spoiler]
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2 Replieswhy'd the chicken cross the road??? [spoiler]TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!![/spoiler] [spoiler]hahahahahaha...[/spoiler] [spoiler]why's nobody else laughing?[/spoiler]
