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Edited by Eigerphant:
8/10/2015 4:58:02 PM
1399
Let's hear your best joke
Comment with your best joke!
Edit: Can't believe the amount of jokes there are - it's brilliant, keep them coming
Edit: Jesus that's a lot of jokes
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What do Paul Walker and Nelson Mandela have in common? They both died pushing 95.
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3 RepliesFriends are like trees. They fall down when u hit them multiple times with an axe.
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2 RepliesWhat's the difference between Paul Walker and my Computer? [spoiler]My computer didnt crash[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyRoses are gray, violets are gray ...I'm a dog...
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Other than this post???
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3 RepliesWhat's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death? Isaac Newton died a virgin.
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Why put the baby in the blender feet first? So you can see the expression on their face.
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7 RepliesOne day a man goes to his psychiatrist, because he thinks he's starting to go crazy. The exam goes well and the psychiatrist tells him to come back in later. The man comes back wrapped from head to toe in nothing but saran wrap, and the psychiatrist says 'Sir, i can clearly see your nuts.
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2 RepliesA man got a flat tire in front of an insane asylum, while changing his tire he accidentally knock his hubcap full of bolts into the storm drain, losing the only way to secure the tire the man is lost on what to do, a patient in the asylum who was watching the man said, "you should take some of the bolts from the other wheels and use that to temporary secure the tire until you get to a service garage", the man said " that's a great idea, I wonder why you are in there", the patient then said " I'm here for being a crazy lunatic, not for being stupid."
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There were two hunters( not destiny).One hunter collapses. The other one calls 911. The hunter says "my friend is dead!" The operator says" calm down. Let's make sure he's dead" there is a silence. Then a gun shot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says "now what?"
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2 RepliesEdited by Wryyymoved: 5/20/2015 3:11:50 AMA brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, "Let's hide in that barn, they'll never find us." The next morning, the cops said, "Come out with your hands in the air!" The red-head said, "Hide in those baskets, they'll never find us!" So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one. Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there. Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets. So the cop kicked the first one: "RUFF." "It's just a damn dog!" yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next one: "MEOW." "It's just a damn cat," yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, "POTATOES!"
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What's brown and sticky? [spoiler]A stick[/spoiler]
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6 RepliesEdited by hulinka: 5/19/2015 10:57:02 AMNewton,Pascal and Edison played hide and seek. Edison was the one searching. When he started to count from 1 to 100 Pascal thought if he would just run further to the forest Edison would see Newton first. Newton realized he cant race against Pascal bevause he is fast as... Newton just stood there and thinked. When Edison reched to 90, Newton took a stick from the ground and drew square around him. 98...99...100 Edison turned and saw Newton stamding 3 feet from him." Newton you have been seen. You lose". [spoiler]did he really lose?[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyA old man and a young guy with multicolored hair sit on a park bench,the young guy notices the old man staring at his hair and says"what's the matter old man,never done anything wild in your life" the old man says calmly"yeah I did,back in the marines I got real drunk one night and -blam!-ed a parrot,I'm wondering if you're my son"
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What do you call a great forum troll that's addicted to porn? [spoiler]a master b8er[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesEdited by dendrox: 4/20/2015 9:34:54 PMProbably shouldn't post this one on the forums, so I'll just put a link haha. Read at your own risk. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9wcte/reddit_whats_the_grossestnastiest_thing_thats/c0er6q4
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1 ReplyWhat is 10 inches long and makes my wife cry when I put it in her mouth? [spoiler]her miscarriage [/spoiler]
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What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? [spoiler]one fûcks between shits and the other shucks between fits.[/spoiler]
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A blonde, brunette, and redhead all get into an elevator. They soon realize that a substance on the wall looks like cum. The brunette leans in, takes a close look, and says "it looks like cum." The redhead next leans in, takes a big sniff, and says "it smells like cum." The blonde immediately sticks her finger in it, puts her her finger in her mouth to taste it, and says "not a guy in this building."
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How do you blind fold an asien [spoiler]with dental floss[/spoiler]
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A baby seal walks into a club.
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You XD
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7 RepliesMy life.
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Wanna -blam!-?
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*dick joke* *laughter*
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Op woke up and looked in a mirror
