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1/11/2015 10:57:19 AM
25
8 years of intensive depression. 3 years on anti depressants and sleeping pills . Saw tens of shrinks. I appreciate what you trying to do , but come on give it a shot and help . So ??? Help man
English
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What troubles you? What is the main issue or all the issues that have cause you to be the way you are?
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Am 27 years old and it all started at the age of 21 . How can i type down 6 years of brain spewing volcano ?
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Just summarize it I suppose.
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When you offer help , you should give it . Or say sorry i cant do anything and its ok. But dont let me complain to you and you just ignore . Please don't do that if you may ayy
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Actually I was at work and just now got off work.
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Am sorry then . I always assume the worst shit. My bad
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I got mentally purified at the age of 21. I realized how stupid i used to be. Everything i did and believed in and stood for was terribly retarted. I accepted the fact i need to change. I had no one for support.i lost my fake confidence. I lost my sense of humor. I 4got how to laugh from my heart. I read lots and lots of books. Graduated and now i am the production manager in a factory. But i dont accept people in my life because i see the retardation level in them . No one is as mature and pure as i am . 8 years and i dont have a friend. All my friends i never met. Just online playing games. I hate my origin and i despise the closed minded. I scare people off because i cant stand FUC*S . I got engaged twice and broke it up. Coz both of th were stupid immature drama bitches
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Honestly it sounds like you just need to let loose and have a good time. Everyone has faults and are not the same just like you have faults and are not the same as everyone and you need to try to accept that. Try to learn to love people for their differences as that is what makes us human. I will get back to you on this but I need to drive home. Don't like sitting in parking lot at work lol
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Mate i really appreciate the help you are giving me. Not alot people are like you. I dont know you , but you have all the respect that none of the people i deal with on daily basis ever had .
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Thank you. I really appreciate that. My advice may or may not help but hopefully it does something good.
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The fact you are giving me some of your time to spread positive energy towards me , makes me smile and feel good , no matter if your advice is compatibale with my disturbed brains or not. And i am gratful , thank you man :).
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No problem. In the end I'm sure things will work out for you. As the saying goes, the first step to change is yourself. Just gotta take a chance and make the leap.
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Mate i swear i agree and believe what you said. But I CANT . Their behaviour insults my messed up complicated brains. I wont step on dog shit. My shoes hygeine is more important to me than their exsistance. I am full of shit as well . There is a dick in my brain , am fu**ed in the head and i know it.
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Believe me I don't like dealing with a lot of people just cause they are stupid but not everyone is the same like that. There is good people oit there that you could come to respect and be friends with. You say you have friends online? If they was living near you do you think you could be friends with those people? The only way to make friends is to eventually learn to accept that no one will ever be like you and that is actually a good thing. A group of friends is like a good squad, they each bring something different to the table that makes the group stronger. As for your origins. I don't know nothing of it but you can't let your past and origins define you. Your actions and thoughts define you. Also to start becoming happier maybe start with trying to enjoy simple things and the beauty in nature and life. Take a road trip and enjoy the scenery. Do something stupid that you normally wouldn't do. You are gonna have to break away from your routine and the way you are to start the change. It's like trying to stop smoking. It never is easy to quit but it's damn good once you do and you feel great about it. Nothing good comes easy. You may have to start off slow and do baby steps but only you can make the effort to progress. I'm assuming you are not happy with the way things are now and from the sound of it you don't have much to lose and only something to gain. You may believe you could lose respect from some people but if you don't have friends as it is then you have no respect to lose as it is. It'll probably be a slow process but I'm sure you can do it if you put in your best effort. As for love. You just gotta keep searching and trying. It may not come the first and 2nd time and may not the 3rd and 4th but it'll eventually come if you keep at it. There is someone out there just for you even if it takes another 10 years.
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Honestly friend i want you to know that 2 shrinks told me that they don't want to continue therapy with me. Due to some shitty reasons that theyr methods are not suitable for my issues. AKA they have no idea what to do. They left me midway and that sucks. So i wnt blame you if you dont want to continue. You made my day and hmmm I LOVE U MATE XD. Seriously j appreciate what ur doing for me .
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I don't mind helping out at all. I'll gladly talk to you but it'll be later. I'm drained from work and fixing to head for bed. It's been a long day. I've read what you mentioned about where you come from and live but brain having problems processing things now from lack of sleep lol. The shrinks can only do so much for you until it is left up to you to do the rest. You may have to make some drastic changes in your life or way you think for you to change and like I said it may not be easy but you have to look at what the reward could be, a happier life with friends and love. It is easy to think you are better than other people cause of where you might come from but it's not that way in life. No one is really better than the other person. We all can fall from grace and become monsters or we can rise up and become good people. Myself I live in what would be considered poverty and I work a low paying job a house keeper that mainly just cleans restrooms which I am content with because it's simple and nothing too complex. It allows me to have time to think and just relax. Everyone walks different paths but we all end up the same place eventually.
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Bro i dont think am better than anyone , infact i despise alot of my bad behaviour am full of crap man . BUT there is something good i have and people here never heard of it. Its : open minded , mature and analying type of mind. Finland taught me how to be a proffisional at work . People here dont know what professional means . No wonder the country is known and famous in one thing. Growing amazing water mellons. 3rd world countries are controlled like puppets from the dictatorian goverment. I feel sorry for them , but i cant stand them . Not to mention in the 1st 3 month i worked here , 68000 euros has been stolen from the factory and i am responsible . I didnt know how evil and corrupted theifs cloaked as business men can be. I believed him and he took my money and never heard of again. People lie and believe their own lies. I cant trust anyone really . Man i believe in God and i always pray that he gives me strength to stay on my feet and dont give in like crota :p. Really , i meet good people very often and they respect me because of my courrupt free heart. Only the pure people are able to see who is pure or not. They are my customers though. Everything has a beginning , i was a paper delivery boy for almost 2 years and worked in resturaunts kitchens for 3 years and also had a smelly year of cleaning bars , ohhh the bathrooms. Now i own 51% of a factory thankfully. I dont like to show off really and am as humble as i can be. I love the fact that there are really poor people in here that i help , it makes me feel good. The smallest thing i give them makes them smile for a week . They make me feel really good. And my cat is the one who makes me laugh. Cruelity and power try to invade me on daily basis man. Its tempting i must say but thank God for making me fight that off. My cat plays a big role in it. Having a pet will make the heart practice mercy . Man i talk too much sorry . Are you on xbox1 or ps4 ?
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I'm on ps4. Would like to get a xbox 1 eventually when I can afford it. It sounds like you are a good person just in a bad place around a lot of bad people. Perhaps you are not the problem but the world around you is what causes you to have problems. Here in america we have our fair share of idiots and close minded people but it is still a great country with very beautiful views to see. I have mostly just lived in one state but I still find beautiful scenery when I drive around the country side. Have you ever thought of moving to another place where you might be happier?
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Am on ps4 . May i add u ? I came here to run the factory we own. I gave up Finland for it. But for a reason. My mother and father are my top priorities. They struggled so i can have a good life. They went through alot for my sake and my sister. Il sacrifice everything for them. They are getting old. And will move back to jordan a year from now after 38 years of work in the united arab emirates. I got my hands on the factory and came here 3 years earlier. So when they move back here . ITS MY TURN MAN . Il take care of them now. They drserve much more and i will never be able to pay back a fraction but il do what i can to provide for them their needs and wants. That is why i came here . And i am happy to pay happiness as a price for this sake :). Il keep on fighting dude. I believe i went through the hellish roller coaster through out my years in Finland to toughen up for this. So far my armor and weapons are maxed out and i have lots of extra shards and energy xD
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Yeah I don't mind if you do. I don't get on party chat very often except when talking to my brother. Yeah I don't blame you. I was taking care of my mom for quite awhile till she passed away this last Christmas so yeah, I can understand that.
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Oh man am veryyy sorry for your loss. I thought am going through shit. While the one trying to help me should be in my place. Man am so sorry , i cant imagine what il do if i was in your place , oh i think am crying
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It's cool. It wasn't like no one was gonna be surprised if she died. She was in bad health and was just her time and all her suffering and worries are now over with. She was 72 as well so age was catching up quickly
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Man may she rest in peace. She mustve been a great woman , it shows from her son's heart. Man i can only imagine what a huge irreplacable loss this is. Please man please if there is anything i can do please ask me only me ok. Wow you are one hell of a human being man. Am speechless . Your must be proud no doubt . I am proud of you and i dont know your name man .
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Yeah man . Your words are nothing but perfect logic and clear facts. You see man i was born and raised in dubai and when i graduated high school i went to Finland. I studied and worked for 8 years. Now i am in jordan , which is unfortunatly where am from . Man people are really suffering from unfunctiong brain cells. They are sooo simple minded and painfully stupid man. No civilization what so ever. Example the general manager didn't use a computrr to track and store the data. I asked why ,, guess what he replied ... that 50 years old baby took it personal and got angry and shouted : WHY THe HELL WOULD I USE THAT THING HAAA WHYY ? NO COMPUTER CAN MATCH ME. and laughed. I own 51% of the factory . What i say he must do , it took him a while to accept orders from a 27 yrz old . Man thats just an example. I worked hard to acheive this financial state am in. I was in a strange new country by myself and made it through. I bought a new apartment. My so called relatives really hate me and envy what i have. I acheived 3 times what they wanted to acheive and some are at an age where death is waiting. Am being attacked and envy and facing jealousy. I had to isolate my self. People give me ALOT of respect because of my job . Not because of me as a person. Everything is a lie. And man i will never give up and start being like them . Il live and die fighting the corrupted SOB'S il never do wrong knowing it is wrong.
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My only choice to adapt is to drop down as low as they are mentally. Il be happy then i know. But id rather die pissing on their mini brains than go a step down towards them.
