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12/12/2014 4:33:27 PM
37

Vulgar Pick Up Lines

Post Funny/Morbid Pick Up Lines
English
#Offtopic #vulgar

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  • If I was a watermelon would you spit our swallow my seed?

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    I have a dick and a knife, Which one is going in you tonight?

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  • Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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    • My love for you is like diarrhea i just cant hold it in.

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      • Ayyyy gurl r u a fire alarm? [spoiler]cuz youre f[i]u[/i]cking annoying[/spoiler]

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        • Please tell me you're on your period. I really wanna pull that tampon by the string out.

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        • Damn girl you must be gasoline, because even though you expensive. I'd still pump you in my van

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        • Edited by The Cellar Door: 12/12/2014 9:30:27 PM
          Are you a single mom? ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ ayy Would you like to be? ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟º ༼ ºل͟lmaoº ༽ ºل͟º ༽ ºل͟º ༽

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        • Wanna go halves on a bastard?

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        • Your head looks nice on your shoulders[spoiler]It'd look better in my pants[/spoiler]

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        • We'll bang, ok?

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          • Hey bby are you a planet because[spoiler]i want to put my Venus in Uranus[/spoiler]

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          • Wow that's probably the most beautiful smile I've come across.[spoiler]*Cum across. Groans and facepalms. -_-[/spoiler]

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          • What's the difference between jam and jelly? [spoiler]i can't jelly my dick in your mouth [/spoiler]

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          • Edited by d 6d7565727465: 12/13/2014 1:03:11 AM
            Did you ever realize screw rhymes with me and you? Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest? My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z. Theres a party in my pants and your invited. I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours? Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest? Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you! Don't be so picky.... I wasn't! I just shit in my pants... Can I get in yours? I lost my virginity... can I have yours? I may not be able to knock bottom, but I'll scrape the shit out of the sides! My body is telling me yes. I hope yours is doing the same thing. Is there a magnet in your pants? (Why?) Cause I'm attracted to your buns of steel! Here is $30. Drink until I am really good looking, then come to talk to me. Girl, you better have a license, cuz you are driving me crazy Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick! The only thing I want between our relationship is latex It may be a needle, but it works like a sewing machine Do you need a napkin? Because you look DIRTY!!! Save a horse, ride a cowboy. I'm gay but you might just turn me straight. What's your favorite silverware?..because I like to spoon! Is that a tic-tac in your blouse or are you just glad to see me? Be unique and different, just say yes. If I filp a coin what are my chances of getting head? Hey there you look good, how many guys do I have to wait behind? Nice socks, can I try them on? Blonde, James Blonde… Jr. Hey, somebody farted. Lets get out of here! You’ve got the whitest teeth I have ever seen! Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours? Can I have directions?… to your heart? Hi, are you legal? No, your to hot to be legal. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you. Nice socks, can I try them on? Can I carry your books? Your father must be a drug dealer, cuz you dope! Hi, will you reject me if I try and pick you up? So I heard you got the hots for me! Are you tired? cuz you’ve been running around in my mind all day! Are those space pants? cuz your legs are out of this world! Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room? Hey baby, got any cavities? Are you a model? If beauty were measured in seconds, you’d be an hour! Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? I’ve got a thirst baby, and you smell like my Gatorade! Hey, I’m bored. Entertain me and I’ll buy you a beer. Hi, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Hey honey, I got money! Are you Sweadish? cuz you’re the sweetish girl I’ve met! My name is Peter Pan, cuz I can take you to Never Never Land. If I followed you home, would you keep me? Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes. Are you O.K.? because it’s a long fall from heaven. I’m sorry, I’m an artist and it’s my job to stare at beautiful women! I know I don’t look like much now, but I’m drinking milk. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room? Lonepaul's signature pickup line: [spoiler]You must be from Tennassee! Because you are the only TEN I see![/spoiler]

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            • I must have found the arc, cause your ass is out of this world [spoiler]a&c reference[/spoiler]

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            • sekkusu shiyo

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            • Ayy whore suck my cock whore

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            • Damn girl, you shit with that ass? (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ ayy lmao ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

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            • Are you a whale? Cause we can humpback at my place.

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            • I might not be Fred flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

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            • Damn girl are you a disc drive? Because I'm boutta insert my disc all up in you.

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            • I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me?

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            • Do you clean your pants with Windex? Cause I can see myself in them.

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            • Did you fall from heaven? [spoiler]Because your face Is pretty fuçked up[/spoiler]

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            • Are both your parents retarded? Because you're special.

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