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Edited by Gooderman:
9/24/2014 12:33:16 PM
19
Destiny Limericks
Originally I started putting these in the 'Destiny puns/jokes' thread but decided to make a new one since I can't seem to stop.
Limericks tend to be bawdy, dirty, and naughty, so...
WARNING! GRAPHIC RHYMES LAY AHEAD!
CAN BE VERY NSFW!
There once was a guardian named Cliff
Who snuck onto a fallen skiff
Before they departed
The Captains all farted
And he passed out after one whiff
The shotgun in PvP
is easy and fun for me
'Til I pissed off a 'lock
and then, to my shock,
he nova bombed the shite outta me
Said the Servitor to the Thrall
of that which he feared most of all,
"Am I or not
truly robot?
Or just half of a Transformer's balls?!"
A Fallen Captain named Lance
felt naughty and undid his pants
He was the master
at stroking it faster
because he could use all four hands
On Venus, a Guardian's text
read "Hey big boy, let's have sex!"
He was in the mood
and so he got nude
...and then he got gang banged by Vex
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1 ReplyThere once was a girl named Ms. Rey. With breasts so heavy they sway. In Tower, playing soccer Out popped her left knocker It seems her dress cant obey.
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Roses are red Violets are blue This isn't a limerick -blam!- you too
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Just me and my ghost and a 5 glimmer whore. Ghost is screaming "Yeah give her some more" Tits so big, couldnt fit in a bucket Pussy so nasty my ghost wont even -blam!- it.
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1 ReplySomebody like or comment so I can read after work please
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A Hunter had blue balls ever since His wife left for an Awoken prince He found him a hottie And then got real naughty And he exploded like Hezen's Vengeance!
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There once was a guardian from Nantucket, Who was told by the speaker "no storytime suck it!" So he found a stranger to find out more. To bad she had no time to explain the lore. So he said thank god for RNG... Ah f#%k it!
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Edited by THE COUNT DANTE: 2/23/2015 10:16:35 AMAn old titan weapon of boon Are farts to be used on the moon When least you'd expect them They'd roar from a rectum And pop the Hive like a ballon
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Edited by THE COUNT DANTE: 2/23/2015 10:07:15 AMThey called him an Agent of Nine Which really did suit him just fine But week in and week out He made players pout Who wanted him slathered in brine. A remarkable titan named Jones, Could reduce any woman to moans, Dumb with no knowledge, We had to acknowledge, He knew ten erogenous zones.
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1 ReplyThe Titan gave his perspective His prowess was his directive "My balls' ammo crate likes to regenerate... My dick is just like the Invective!" That Warlock's vagina, you see, is vast, [i]immeasurably[/i] With help from a Vex And some Void magic sex Her Pocket's now Infinity!
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1 ReplyEdited by THE COUNT DANTE: 2/23/2015 9:45:39 AMA titan was raised from the grass Who had balls that were solid as brass In Venus weather They would clang together And caused the Arc Stomp from his ass
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This tread is old lol. But best thing i have seen in a long time hahaha
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You must be a creative writing major or something lol
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Aiiiiiiye yaaa yaaa yaaaaaa Your brother licks bat shit from cave waaaaaaalls.
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Eris said "Settle the score!" "Let's raid!" a Titan did implore They plowed through so fast And wrecked some Hive ass Now, Crota's End is all sore Eris came back up above from the abyss to see her true love He looked in her eyes and asked, with surprise, "Is there anything [i]else[/i] you have three of?!"
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A difficult Strike had been mastered A purple engram dropped out after It was absurd Out popped a blue turd That fuggin Rahool is a bastard! The mysterious Agent of Nine and his black market wares are divine "Hey [i]tentacle face[/i]!" I said in poor taste Then he beat me to death with my spine I wanted to know more than that, but The Speaker could be such a prat "I could speak of wars and battles, of course, But here, I have an app for that"
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1 ReplyI was once in a tub with a whirlpool with an Awoken lass named Murple I went down 'tween her thighs and came up in surprise The hair I pulled from my teeth was all purple The Cabal are a mystery that begs Of a question for between their legs I've not seen at all A female Cabal So they must prefer sausage and eggs?
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On Venus, out in a field two Titans were screwing with zeal He thrusted so hard She yelled at the start "I think you broke my overshield!" A dead Guardian as a host was what it desired the most Fallen grabbed Little Light and ignored his plight As they bukkaked the poor little Ghost
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Edited by Gooderman: 1/7/2015 8:37:49 AMCrota was very depressed Some Guardians raided his chest! Then beat him with ease Thanks to some cheese And ruined his re-birthday fest Crota makes all the gals swoon And needed him some wizard 'poon' Well endowed, stuck on Earth His 'sword' he sent forth So that a wizard came from the Moon! One Knight said to the other "I could use a wife, dear brother" So they prowled a bit in the Summoning Pits and now an Ogre's his lover The Queen of the Reef went out hopin' to find a 'King' she could rope in With a lad, she did dance then she looked at his pants to find she's not the only thing 'Awoken' Two Guardians hearts were alit as they made love by The Summoning Pit She yelled in surprise with joy in her eyes for he landed a critical hit The Exo was very mistaken by an orgy he would partake in It lasted for days but he stayed anyways And now his 'hard drive' is aching
