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originally posted in: Where did you Lose Your Virginity?
Edited by psichotykwyrm: 7/8/2014 3:08:53 AM
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Lots of people are gonna tell you to do things to attract women. You've probably heard the old platitudes like, "just be yourself". I'm about to suggest something you may have never heard. Granted, I could be way off base here, because I have limited information to work with, but... Have you considered that you may be sexually repressed? What this basically boils down to is being unable to express one's own sexuality. For any number of reasons this can happen. It can be anything from religious shaming to an extreme lack of confidence. The ultimate effect is that a person does not express their sexual desires to the world around them. I was repressed myself through my teens. I allowed a few negative experiences with girls, along with some other social problems, to convince myself that I could never be attractive to women. Believing that, I completely shut down in that area. I did not express myself that way towards girls, and was so convinced of my undesirable status that I was unable to perceive actual positive female attention that came my way. I was seriously consigned to loneliness. Luckily one day when I was about 19-20 a girl told me she thought I was attractive. I was then able to challenge my long held notion that I was doomed to never be desired. Nothing happened with her by the way, but I was finally able to see myself as a viable choice for a woman, and therefore begin to act on it. And you have to act on it. That's the entire thing. You have to express your desire publicly. If you are in fact repressed, this is gonna be difficult. It will make you uncomfortable. It's tempting to just do nothing and hope that one day a woman will just like you and solve the problem for you. This will not happen though. If a woman perceives that you are not interested, she's probably not gonna waste her time. This is why you have to express interest. You'd be surprised how far eye contact and smiles go. Not just an everyday smile you'd give your grandma. Look at her in a way that let's her know you're smiling because of her. You may feel uncomfortable here, afraid you're being creepy. DON'T. It actually takes a bit of effort to be a creep. Expressing interest is a natural thing that repressed folks have just unintentionally flipped some kind of off switch for in their minds. General tips: stay away from those MRA guys. Anything they tell you will only make the situation worse. No need to blame women for what is essentially an internal problem. Secondly, if things start turning around for you, be completely honest about your inexperience. I was so ashamed of my own inexperience that I pretended to know what I was doing. Don't be me. That was far too awkward to even talk about. Just don't feel bad about inexperience. Think of it like games, everyone starts out a noob. Hope all that helps. Good luck to you.
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