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Edited by Explodingpiglets: 3/29/2014 5:29:59 PM
25

The PAX disaster 20: Cowpie

(if you would like to be added to the notification list, just let me know.) Since marijuana helps to clear the mind and relax the nerves, Camnator was quick to recover from his ordeal. But he had questions for Jane: "What happened after we crashed? The last thing I remember was..." he remembered his face falling into her bosom, "um..passing out. Then I woke up inside that fake jail." "When the pod landed your head bounced off the wall and you were knocked unconscious." Jane explained, "I carried you out and laid you on the ground. I went back to retrieve a device that tracks the other escape pods. When I returned, you were trapped inside that illusion. Again, I apologize for my negligence." "Don't worry about it. I can take on jack-booted police thugs any day." he said, taking another puff from his bubbler. As Jane fiddled with a device on her wrist, Camnator caught a whiff of something foul in the air. It was there for a moment, but it made him cringe. It wasn't just a smell, it carried a hint of something completely wrong and unclean. But it was gone in an instant. Camnator tried to pick up the smell again, but all he could smell was fresh air. After deciding that perhaps he imagined it, he shrugged it off and decided to ask Jane about their plans. "Jane or Kiala. Sorry, I don't know what to call you. How are we going to find the others?" He asked. Jane attached a device to her wrist and a holographic display appeared above it, showing 3 dots on a radar. "Kiala is my real name. You can call me that. We will track the others' pods using this. The closest one to us is the one Vien took, so we will head there first." she said. "Then we will proceed to the third pod." "Ok, assuming everybody is all right, what will we do after then? How are we going to fight the bane?" Camnator asked. Jane didn't respond for a few moments, but then she turned towards Camnator and said "I do not know. When the bane attacked our universe, the only reason we survived as long as we did is because we had an army and the technology to mute the corrupted. Vien and I are only two warriors. Yet only I have the ability to mute." "Why do you keep fighting?" he asked. "The bane defies all logic, it is impossible to analyze and to study because it follows no detectable pattern." " Jane admitted, "But the reason I am still fighting is because it is not in my nature to go down without a fight, no matter how overwhelming the odds are." As Camnator admired her tenacity, he was hit with the putrid odor in the air again. It was stronger this time and it felt even more wrong to his senses. For some reason, he was reminded of Jay's terrifying aura. But as soon as the wind changed, the smell was blown away. However, there was still a lingering feeling of something tainted. It was as if the air itself were violated. "Did you smell that just now?" Camnator asked. "No. What did you smell?" Jane inquired. "I don't know, but it was awful." he said. "Then come, we must continue toward's Vien's pod. It is this way. Be on your guard. Oh and take this. Try not to shoot me in the back." she said as she handed him a plasma rifle. "Whoa, this is really big and heavy." Camnator exclaimed. "That's what I said." Jane responded, her mandibles tilted in a grin. It was the first time Camnator saw Jane show a sense of humor and he laughed. As they headed in Vien's direction, he began to ponder about what she said, about how the bane didn't have any pattern. "Wait...you said the bane doesn't have any patterns, but it seems like it's spreading like a disease, what with people getting corrupted and being granted superpowers? That seems like a pattern we could study." Jane shook her head "It is only a coincedence that it is spreading like a plague. Instances like this happened in our universe. There were moments where the bane would follow a pattern that we could study. But almost as if to mock us, it would change completely. You saw what happened in the recordings, chaos reined everywhere. The skies tranformed before our very eyes, the very fabric of reality was torn apart. True, the bane is following a pattern right now, but it could change at any moment." Camnator remained silent and contemplated what Jane said. He remembered his out-of-body experience when he inhaled the high mind's smoke. Although the bane was following a pattern for now, it still caused chaos and destruction beyond imagination. It did seem beyond hope that they could hope to fight a primal force that tore apart reality. But Camnator wondered if that could be used to their advantage. Since the bane cannot be fought using conventional means, could it be fought using unconventional means? He thought about idea that he had earlier, down in the high mind's lair. It seemed suicidal at first, in fact it probably was suicidal. But he didn't see any alternative. Camnator looked at the woods around him as they walked, they were beautiful and untainted by the bane. The sunlight shone through the leaves, creating rustling shadows along the forest floor. This scenery was worth risking his life for. Camnator's train of thought was interrupted when Jane stopped abruptly. "Something is coming. Raise your weapon." she said, as she unsheather her energy sword. Camnator looked where Jane was looking. At first he didn't see or hear anything, but then he heard a rustling followed by what sounded like a little creature screaming comically "ooo hoo hoooo!!! run!!!!! run!!! no!!!! it's coming for us!!". A small stone with legs burst out of the foilage and and ran right past Jane and Camnator. Soon, another rock with legs ran out of the foilage, followed by a stick with legs, a bike with legs, a dog, a small porch with legs. They were all screaming comically "run!!!!! it's coming for us!!!". Camnator felt something wriggle inside of his backpack. Confused, he took it off and unzipped the zipper. Immediately one of his bongs jumped out and ran away screaming. "My bong ran away!" he exclaimed. His bong was followed by Jane's energy blade, which had jumped out of her hand and was now running after the other objects, slicing low branches as it went. "My blade ran away..." she said, fuming. Camnator began to chase after his bong, but she put a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. "We do not have time. This is the bane's work." she said. But Camnator wasn't paying attention to her. The smell had returned, it was awful. The overpowering stench brought tears to his eyes and he began to gag. Behind her, the trees and foilage began to decay at a rapid pace. It was as if all life were being sucked out of them. Leaves withered and fell to the ground, flowers wilted and simply fell into a liquidy mush. Jane turned around and exclaimed "By the prophets!" Camnator was on the ground now brutally gagging. He felt the earth beneath him tremble, as if it were trying to retreat from whatever abomination was causing this. He heard trees crashing to the ground as it got closer and closer to them. He felt Jane scoop him up in her arms and run. But whatever it was, it was too wide for them to run around in time. Flies began to cloud their vision, Camnator had to spit out a few that flew into his mouth. A loud booming voice roared over the trees, "I AM A BIG COW PIE, WHEN I SEE YOU, PREPARE TO DIE!" Camnator looked up and through his blurry vision, saw a horrible sight. It was a gargantuan hill of shit, it must have been hundreds of feet tall. It was surrounded by a similar aura that surrounded Jay. The stench assaulted his nose, he didn't know how Jane could stand it. His body tried to vomit, but he hadn't had anything to eat for the past 7 hours, so nothing came up. The large sentient shit saw both of them and began to sing in an opera voice: "I AM THE GREAT BIG COWPIE WHEN YOU SEE ME BE PREPARED TO DIE. A HUGE SUPPLY OF SHIT COMES FROM MY CHOCOLATE STARFISH HOW ABOUT SOME SCAT, YOU LITTLE TWATS?" It hurled a huge wad of feces towards the group. Jane barely managed to dodge it as it splattered against the ground, spraying everywhere. "Hold on to me! Cling to me as close as you can!" She shouted at Camnator. "I am going to extend an energy shield around both of us to protect us from that bile!" Camnator did as he was told and clinged to Jane's body. She rapidly pressed a few buttons on her wrist. Camnator heard a sizzling sound and felt static on the back of his head and back. He tried to lean his head back but felt resistance. The shield protected him, but it also held him in place. He didn't know what to think of the situation. It was a rather unique experience, being bound intimately against the bosom of a hot elite as she ran from a pile of opera singing shit that threw feces at them. "DO YOU THINK YOU'LL SURVIVE IN HERE? YOU DON'T SEEM TO KNOW WHICH CREEK YOU IN. SWEET CORN IS THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES IT THROUGH MY REAR! HOW'D YOU THINK I KEEP THIS LOVELY GRIN?" [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post?id=64199626&path=1](continued below)[/url]

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