You should try soaking them in gasoline and taking a match to them. I heard that feels really good.
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I did it once, they completely disappeared! I was like :O! They will grow back, eventually. [spoiler]It's been 5 years.[/spoiler]
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You have some weird friends bro.
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How about liquid nitrogen instead?
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How would the fairies nibble if my balls are frozen solid?
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Hydrochloric acid?
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But then there would be no balls to nibble on :(