And being honest, I'm not excited or happy. Most people would be thinking at all the possibilities that are now available to them, but truthfully I'm kind of restless, trying to find ways to occupy my mind knowing that I'm presently that much closer to when my existence will cease to be relevant. I'm worried, I feel depressed, I just don't know what to do right now.
Tell me Flood, how do you deal with getting older?
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If you're worried that your existence will cease to be relevant, then make it relevant. This is up to you to decide how to enact. Change the world in some way. You don't have to be a particle scientist or a neurosurgeon or a great poet, but do something that impacts the world in some fashion for the better. Heck, you could work at a fast-food restaurant and just be the best, kindest, cashier ever! Just make your life count to someone in some way. Every little piece of your life will mean something to someone if you try. Happy pills work too if you're really stuck in a rut with medical depression though; just throwing that out there as well.