It will get better with time, but even then, grief has a weird way of sneaking up on you, even on your best day. I know sleeping is hard, but at the very least, try to stay nourished and hydrated. Earlier this year I chose the route of no food, no sleep (bad dreams) and broke my 8 months of sobriety. That was in May. I just quit heavily drinking again on the 26th. It was what I justified as a necessary distraction, but I definitely spiraled. Don’t spiral. Especially downward. I wish you nothing but better days ahead.