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Edited by Kestrel, King of Excrement: 5/25/2022 4:04:51 PM
8

A guy holding a boom box above his head playing “In Your Eyes” has appeared on my porch, what should I do?

He’s just standing there holding his boom box high blasting Peter Gabriel’s one hit wonder “In Your Eyes”. It’s 1:06 AM and I need to sleep, I have work in a few hours. He’s clearly trying to serenade me but I need him to leave. I tried poking my head out the window and yelling at him, but he turned up the music. Should I throw something at him? In my room I have an alarm clock, a lava lamp, a claw hammer, my laptop, a large purple geode, my cutlery kit, my cat that is asleep on my bed, a home defense baseball bat, and a broken mini fridge. What should I do? [spoiler]HAIL HYDRA!!!!!![/spoiler]

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  • Then use your cutlery kit and claw hammer to cut him up into tiny pieces and stuff him in what's left of your mini fridge, and use the lava lamp to make a mess over the blood splatters to make it look like a normal spill

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