I had a situation similar with a former roommate. We lived together freshmen year and he really helped me with college life. Very outgoing and liked to party. Sophomore year we got into an argument but still made up. He never really responded to my text. Come junior year (current year). My friend Tim tells me Parker isn't around this semester and took it off. I don't know what happened over the summer. He never replied to any text of mine. I hoped we didn't have any bad blood. I couldn't tell. Then one day our group me chat is blowing up and Cory (former RA, senior now) states it's been a hectic 24 hours. I come in and say what's going on and that's when Tim tells me Parker died but he didn't know how. At first I really wasn't to upset about it, I was more in shock. It wasn't until the ceremony and seeing a picture of him in the church until I became upset. I didn't cry but my anxiety got bad, I felt like I was going to pass out. So I had to leave and I ended up breaking down outside of a food building on campus. Because I felt like a coward for not making it through. Was the first death I dealt with. Especially since he was my roommate. I can't imagine how I would make it through my father's death. He's done so much of me and we talk daily. If he died now I would be screwed and my life wouldn't be the same. If my mom died I would be devested but dad dying would give me more of a shocked cold feeling like if I saw a ghost except like a million times worse. I'm so sorry your father died. It's not your fault. United States Hotline 800-273-8255