*Smears Cheez Whiz all over sniper scope*
Good afternoon and hail HYDRA. Last weekend, SHIELD devastated Site-Alpha with yet another raid. They made off with assets that are irreplaceable, one of them items that were stolen was Red Skull's coveted Vaporeon body pillow. Furious that his property had been stolen by SHIELD again, our glorious leader ordered Skull Team 6 to raid the Triskelion in D.C., fight their way through SHIELD personnel, and secure his waifu from the vaults below. Operation: Love Quest was a smashing success! Thanks to the hails submitted by your holy statueness', Skull Team 6 secured the body pillow and exfiltrated with no casualties. Great work your holy statueness'! You your holy statueness' are the real heroes. In other news, the Annual HYDRA Youth Christmas Pageant is in one week. All personnel are expected to attend. Sin has announced that if her boyfriend is found before Christmas she will steal the HYDRA Football again. In response to these threats, Red Skull has tightened the security around the Football. Just a reminder, any personnel who informs Sin of her boyfriends fate will be terminated. With Christmas just around the corner, all benefits will be reinstated for all personnel who have been with us for more than two years. However nobody will get Christmas off, we apologize for the inconvenience. That is all for this week. Get ready to hail HYDRA!