Good evening jim-jams! If you didn’t already know, I am the current president of this gutter, and I intended to leave after this term, but they locked the door. I’ve been eating cereal crumbs off the floor for the last two weeks. Achieving a second term is the only way to survive. Now, my policies! 1: leather pants are not cool 2wo: I think we should implement a dress code. U gotta wear bee colors on Thursdays (I was born on a Thursday) (again, no leather pants) Thr33: everybody gets a longsword. Any “murders” committed with your personal longsword will be pardoned Foor: the literate will once a week, be forced to take turns reading Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll into a loudspeaker in the town square. This will create an endless loop of my favorite poem for all of Offtopic to enjoy Fiv5: ordinary numbers are boring $ix: don’t let Harold out Sven: new gameshow for Offtopic to participate in! Aight: Cash prize to anyone who learns Gregory’s real name Nein: tambourines are banned. They’re too loud. Too powerful. !0: I love you all, not in that way, don’t make it weird. See you on the other side, or not Maybe-soon-to-be-former President Girraffalope, out