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How about you spot your old man a few bucks ey kiddo? I changed your diaper a few times and I really just want to reconnect with you.
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[i]How about you reconnect with mom and make another slave to work for you?[/i]
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Listen son, as much as I love your mother, it’s best if she doesn’t see me right now. I’m just here to talk with all you kids and reconnect a little.
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Pa, I thought you gave up your burning passion for kids years ago.
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You’re thinking of Uncle Jimmy in your mom’s side who lives down in the Jail House. I’m a clean man, now hand me that nice blender. I need to take it down to the repair shop.
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Nice try pa, brother John already pulled that one last year! He was also reported for assault and found dead in an alley two blocks down clutching some panties and missing his ween which bled out five hours before discovery... ...He also forgot to bring the blender.
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Yeah, Johnny was working through some issues. Sad case. Do me a favor and hand me that set of keys hanging on the wall next to the front door.
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The basement keys?
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Yeah, I need you to get something from down there.
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[spoiler] is this where I pull out the Attack on Titan references?[/spoiler] O- Okay... *tosses keys* You never told me what's down there...
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Son, did I ever tell you about your older brother Billy?
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Uh... no? Wait, Mom said she only had two kids... why would she lie to me?
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Your brother Billy struck it rich too. Sadly he was not as sharing as you are, and we had to lock him down here for his own good
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Oh... ...I don't know how to respond to that... How long has he been down there?
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Not too long. 20, 25 years tops. I want you to go down and meet him. It’ll be good for you.
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Uh, I don't even remember where the basement is... mom would knock me out with chloroform and then tie me to a chair and waterboarded me until my brain suppressed the entirety of that month if I ever ventured there. Actually, I don't remember where a lot of things are...
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How about you hand me that lottery ticket and I’ll put it somewhere safe. It’d be no good if you were to forget where you put it.
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... Ah... about that...
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Son, where is that ticket?
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... [i]Mom?[/i]
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No I’m Dad.
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-might know where it is...
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How about you tell me instead
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Well you see, I would, but the moment I told mom about it, I blacked out and woke up in the dog house two days later... And we don't even have a dog!
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No worries. *KnocksIntoBasement* *LocksDoor* I’m gonna go get some cigs. Behave for your mother