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5/20/2019 5:08:35 AM
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15
Ronin

WiErDScIeNcE11 VS. Lee the Sheriff @ Underworld

Welcome to another OAFL fight, everybody! Today, [b]Novice WiErDScIeNcE11, the Burmese Python[/b] [i](hereafter referred to as WiErD because that’s an annoying name to type out)[/i] has challenged [b]Novice Lee the Sheriff, the Great Plains Wolf[/b] [i](hereafter referred to as Lee)[/i] to a duel in the [b]Underworld[/b]! [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/251623105?sort=0&page=0&]Lee’s loadout[/url] [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/251580446?sort=0&pag]WiErD’s loadout[/url] As lava bubbles in pools sporadically placed about, the sky above is pitch black in inky darkness. Here in the Underworld, there is no light aside from what’s provided from the occasional spurt of flame from the ground and the pools of lava. The very ground itself seems to stir drowsily, as if it were waking up from a long nap. [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR]This[/url] begins playing over the silent air, and a soft rumbling echoes… WiErD bursts forth from the ground, rocks and dirt exploding everywhere! A soft green mist spews forth from the hole and dissipates as it makes contact with the heated air! WiErD lands and studies his opponent across the rocky field... [url=https://soundcloud.com/user-200955245/swept-up-lil-b]This[/url] begins playing over the air as a shopping cart slowly rides in opposite of WiErD. Inside the shopping cart is Lee, cramped like a small child. As the cart rolls to a stop, Lee jumps out, dusts himself off, and stands at the ready. [b][u][i][url=https://soundcloud.com/rok-nardin/the-devil]DUEL START!!![/url][/i][/u][/b] Lee seems to find a small rock and sits on it. He pulls out a phone and some headphones and continues to play [url=https://soundcloud.com/user-200955245/swept-up-lil-broomstick]this[/url] and cranks the volume all the way up. It’s so loud that I can hear it in this announcer’s box over the arena’s theme song… Anyway, WiErD burrows into the ground and creeps forward closer to Lee, clearly suspicious of Lee’s easygoing attitude. Some columns of fire shoot up, but they are a safe distance away from both fighters. Lee stands up, takes his headphones off, and conjures a sword of light in his hand. “So… We gotta fight? Alright, well… Here we go.” WiErD explodes from the ground beneath Lee, fangs with poison dripping ready to strike! But Lee was ready for the surprise attack, and deflects the fangs using his sword and pushes WiErD into a nearby column of fire! The fire seems to singe WiErD and push him up, but WiErD uses the opportunity to position himself above Lee and comes crashing down with his tail pointed directly at Lee! Lee sheathes the sword of light and begins conjuring another weapon, but before he can do so, WiErD strikes! A massive gash is opened down Lee’s front right leg, but Lee finishes conjuring a baseball bat made of light! WiErD keeps the pressure up on Lee by biting at Lee’s upper arm, which the clearly disoriented Lee cannot hope to dodge! That poison must have done much more than a little damage! Lee breaks away from WiErD’s bite and runs to a nearby mound, seeking a chance to catch his breath and recover from the poison, but WiErD isn’t having it! As Lee turns and runs, WiErD swipes with his tail and- ooooh, that looked embarrassing! WiErD misses completely and stumbles to the ground as Lee manages to make it to safety! As WiErD is recovering, Lee slides back down the mound and bats WiErD away into a column of fire with his baseball bat! WiErD rolls backward out of the column of fire, leaps into the air, and dives back down into the ground, burrowing once more! But, what’s this? A rumbling sounds forth, and the ground shakes! WiErD’s burrowing has made the ground loose! The rocks and dirt begin to give way and both WiErD and Lee fall into a pit and land on a circular island in the middle of a lava lake! An altar lies in the center of the island with some menacingly glowing red runes… Lee, wary of the runes, climbs to his feet, unsheathes his sword of light, and begins charging power into it, making it glow brighter than it ever was before, but as he does, the runes seem to pulsate with an eerie glow… WiErD burrows away from Lee, seeking safety from Lee’s attack and the runes that seem to pulsate faster with each passing second… A silent second passes as nobody moves a muscle and Lee finishes charging his sword, when suddenly, WiErD slams on the ground, looking to affect the ground beneath Lee, but it does nothing, and the strange runes disappear… Lee begins reenacting the dance from [url=https://media.giphy.com/media/NaYNP9WoTMZFK/giphy.gif]Dancing in the Rain[/url] while listening to [url=https://soundcloud.com/jaydeisman/mine-oddity-minecraft-parody-of-space-oddity]this[/url] and WiErD pops a fang out of his mouth and hits it towards Lee with his tail, which Lee dodges accidentally while doing his dance. WiErD burrows back into the ground and Lee stops his dance and music, preparing another charge into his sword of light. Wait, why is [url=https://soundcloud.com/thiya-zamenhoff/the-pursuer]this[/url] playing over the air…? WOAH! A swordspear just shot down from above into the ground! A [url=https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/darksouls/images/9/9a/SotFS_Pursuer.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150429032419]massive metal knight[/url] follows the swordspear, pulls it from the ground, and begins levitating, a menacing red glow in his visor… WiErD emerges out of the ground, out of range of Lee’s sword and leaving Lee closer to the knight than him, and murmurs, “Who the hell is this guy…?” The knight says nothing, but opens his hand, conjuring hellish flames, and covers his swordspear in them, visibly augmenting his danger factor! Lee turns and runs the other way, away from the dark knight, calling out to WiErD, “Hey, uh, you wanna make an alliance to take this guy out? Seems like this guy is gonna cause us trouble.” “Sure, but you’re the front runner!” WiErD says as he pushes Lee back towards the dark knight. However, the ground begins rumbling once again, and the rock breaks away with the three fighters and floats away on a river of lava with the dark knight, Lee, and WiErD on top of it! The dark knight charges Lee and WiErD and swipes horizontally with his now-flaming spearsword, looking to attack both opponents! Lee attempts to jump, but is off-balance from WiErD’s push, and WiErD attempts to parry the attack, but both fail, and the dark knight manages to connect with both targets! Lee backpedals away from the knight after taking the hit, looking to let WiErD deal with the knight, but WiErD burrows underground once again, looking to temporarily blind the dark knight by kicking up a lot of ash. The dark knight, only seeing Lee, charges him, spearsword held out, ready to attack! However, Lee dodges out of the way just in the nick of time, rolling to avoid the massive spearsword aimed directly for his head! WiErD jumps out of the ground again, and uses the debris from his tunneling to fire sharp rock projectiles at the dark knight, which the dark knight does not have enough time to dodge! A direct hit! However, WiErD’s tunneling is doing its damage, and the already small island splits in two and floats even faster down the river of lava! Lee and WiErD each flee to one island, leaving the dark knight to choose a target! Lee, on his island, begins charging a chainsaw of light, and WiErD burrows underground in his island to hide from the knight! The dark knight looks for a moment, and begins to float toward Lee! Lee, in response, runs to the edge of his island and continues charging his chainsaw, screaming, “COME AT ME F*CKER!!!” WiErD leaps from his island is a great arc, fangs flashing and rocks flying, looking to sneak attack the dark knight, but the distance is large! The dark knight has an opportunity to react, and he takes it! He lifts his shield and swats WiErD away as WiErD nears, now having both fighters on the same island once again. Lee takes his opportunity to attack and jumps onto the dark knight’s back, stabbing the chainsaw into an opening in the armor on his neck while activating the chainsaw! A critical hit, if I ever saw one! WiErD, seeing Lee driving the chainsaw into the dark knight, tosses Lee one of his poisonous fangs, yelling, “STAB HIM WITH IT, MAKE HIM BLEED!!!” The dark knight, however, reaches around and grabs Lee, easily lifting him up, and hurls him at WiErD, who burrows into the ground in order to dodge Lee. Lee rolls into the ash left by WiErD’s burrowing, gets up, wipes his eyes, and dissolves the chainsaw in the dark knight’s back, which seems to continue to hurt the knight slightly. WiErD jumps out of the ground and flings a few more poisonous fangs at the dark knight, connect with the dark knight, seeming to deal a little more damage. In response, the dark knight floats over to where WiErD last burrowed back into the ground and stomps, creating shockwaves in the ground! The shockwaves force WiErD up into the air, but they also break off pieces of the island at the edge, forcing the already small island to be smaller! Lee runs to the edge of the island and begins charging a baseball bat of light. WiErD uses his momentum from falling to slash downward at the dark knight, who blocks the slash with his shield and counters with the spearsword! The counter attack hits, sending WiErD careening away from the dark knight! However, rocks fall from the ceiling high above as the earth rumbles once more… [i]Continued below...[/i]

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