Someone copied a line from Star Wars lol

And now we await the third edition to this humble impressive story. Great work here.

  [quote] "Guardian, we should get moving," her ghost said, with a long pause. There's more people who we could save,"[/quote] Ya missed quotation marks before “There’s”.     [quote]He stood up, dusting of his boot legs.[/quote] Either I’m forgetting how English works (which ain’t impossible at this point) or boot legs ain’t a thing. Ya also missed an “f” in off. ___________________________________________ Other than that, I don’t see anything wrong here. Great work, buddy! [spoiler]Now you got Mcreed in here....I really need to work on more logs.....[/spoiler]

Good job. Certainly an “interesting” way to meet a new character. [quote] ...The Guardian placed her hand over the woman's eyes putting her to rest. She stood up wiped away the tears and looked to the traveler in prayer. [/quote]In the second sentence, it’s not clear if you are referring to the dead woman or the Guardian. Even for people who know the woman is dead and it should be the Guardian, it’s confusing. Do something to clarify that the Guardian is the one who stands. Capitalize Traveler. Also, you forgot commas: “The Guardian placed her hand over the woman's eyes, putting her to rest. Then she stood up, wiped away the tears, and looked to the Traveler in prayer.” You’ll notice that I just added “Then” to the beginning of the second sentence. This instantly clarifies that the Guardian is doing the action, because it indicates the person doing the previous action. This is much better than replacing “She” with “The Guardian” because that would create bad repetition. [quote]   "Guardian, we should get moving," her ghost said, with a long pause. There's more people who we could save,"[/quote]Unnecessary comma in the first sentence, and you had no comma or open quotation marks for the second part of the dialogue. And you ended it with a comma instead of a period. "Guardian, we should get moving," her ghost said with a long pause, “There's more people who we could save." [quote]    She heard more Cabal as she aproached the city center, crouching behind a small cart, she peered through the windows of the building closest to her where others had taken up hiding, then to the street where the group of Cabal now stood. [/quote]Approached has two p’s. And the first comma needs to be a period. “She heard more Cabal as she approached the city center. Crouching behind a small cart, she peered through the windows of the building closest to her where others had taken up hiding, then to the street where the group of Cabal now stood.” [quote]    There were three of them, two Legionaries, and a Phalanx.[/quote] The first comma needs to be a colon or a period, and the second comma needs to be removed. You say there are three of them, then you must [i]separately[/i] list the number of Legionaries and Phalanxes. You wrote it all like one list, creating a total of [b]six[/b] Cabal (3+2+1). “There were three of them: two Legionaries and a Phalanx.” [quote]They looked left and right scanning the shops for people.[/quote]Comma before scanning, because it’s a dependent clause attached to the independent clause to add detail. [quote]    The Phalanx stumbled backwards grasping for the hunter on its back.[/quote]Comma before grasping, same reason as the previous correction. [quote]    It brandished a long, glowing blade and caught the Hunter on his chest.[/quote]”caught the Hunter in the chest.” [quote]    The Warlock, seeing her chance flew over the two Cabal, throwing an Axion bolt grenade.[/quote]”seeing her chance” is inserted into the sentence to add detail. You added a comma at the beginning, but you also need to add one at the end to completely divide it from the sentence it was shoved into. Then, simply to avoid an ugly overabundance of commas, I suggest you change the end of the sentence to this: “The Warlock, seeing her chance, flew over the two Cabal and threw an Axion bolt grenade.” [quote]    It landed at the feet of the Legionary that had struck down the Hunter, sitting still for a moment, it then solidified into two separate balls of void energy.[/quote]Remove the word “it” in front of “then solidified.” That should only be there if you are starting a new sentence with it. [quote]    "Hey, thanks for the help. My name's Mcreed, Larsnic Mcreed. He said looking up to the Warlock.[/quote]You forgot closing quotations and to use a comma instead of period. Also, to add more “flavor” to your writing, try using more descriptive words than “said.” Said works very well, but other words can really enhance the reading experience. And add a comma before “looking up” because it’s a dependent clause again. "Hey, thanks for the help. My name's Mcreed, Larsnic Mcreed,” he greeted, looking up to the Warlock. [quote]   "Dido, my name's Jessica," she said, smiling.[/quote]Ditto. Dido means something else. Here you had a comma before the dependent clause, so good job. Just remember it works like that for other sentences. And to add more “flavor,” replacing said with replied works well. "Ditto, my name's Jessica," she replied, smiling. [quote]   "Guardians, this is commander Zavala, we're evacuating the city![/quote]Use a period after Zavala, not a comma. Separate sentence. [quote]   "We need to get these people to the evacuating ships!" Larsnic exclaimed urgently.[/quote]I just want to say this, concerning what I was talking about with not using “said” for “flavor.” I have noticed that you are using other words, and you’re doing great. The word “said” is still just a little too common, so keep working to use it less.

I'm dumb, this is number two not three...

Yes, yes you finally did it, nice, I am always a bit too cocky, as Han once said “don’t get too cocky kid!”

Nice job dad