JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by A Tigerstorm: 9/25/2019 7:28:15 PM
8

The Offtopic Murder Mystery: SEASON 2 (part 7)

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-“ Toaster kept on laughing. The reveal of Chubbyninja was humorous to him? But why? And how did Chubby survive?! Aku backed in fear. “You…you died! We all heard it! We attended the burial of your ceramic jar!” Chubby looked back at him. “First of all, that's nice of you. Second of all, Toaster quite your laughter.” Toaster kept on laughing. “HEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYEHEY-“ Chubby sighed. “Oh for god sakes. And finally, the only reason I’m alive is that a long ass time ago, Speaker and Tiger had made a trip down to the old biogenetics facility, where there were countless test tube and organ regenerators capable of building bodies. I kinda stole one from Tiger. I had a chip in my head that transmitted my brain in case of death to one such machine. It hurts as hell lemme tell you.” “So you were birthed a fully grown man?” Eagle asked. “Eagle!” Saber chastised. “No no, it’s a fair question. Yes, yes I was.” Chubby responded. “So you are a petulant man child. HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH-“ Toaster began laughing again. “I -blam!-ing knew this was gonna happen…” Chubby quietly said. “Well…Why didn’t you tell anyone?!” Aku yelled. “I’m a ninja. I’m supposed to be sneaky. Disguising myself was the best way to ensuring survival!” Chubby responded. “And right now, I may be your best hope of taking down Nighthawk!” Toaster suddenly stopped laughing. “It isn’t Nighthawk.” Everyone looked back at him. “Wait what?” Eagle asked. “My-er-he isn’t the killer?” Chubby quickly stared at the sudden word change. “No, in fact. The killer is on his way here form his failed attempt at killing everyone 4:40 seconds ago. I suggest you hide if you want to live in the next 30 seconds.” Toaster replied. “WHAT?!” Aku screamed. His mouth was suddenly shut close by chubby who dragged him into a closet. Saber hid behind data column, while Eagle jumped up into the rafters and hid in a vent. From behind Toaster, a door opened. The killer stepped through, his robotic voice murmuring in the dark of the room, “[b]Gragh! Only 3 dead tonight so far. And they freed the- what the?! Toaster?! Did you turn on again?![/b]” “Aye aye captain.” Toaster calmly replies. Inside the closet Chubby lets go of his hold on Aku’s mouth. “Be quiet or you’ll get us both killed!” He whispered. “[b]Ugh…You know that you aren’t supposed to do that Toaster. You can make up for this by giving me full authority over the building again. They stole my key…[/b]” “Remote.” Toaster responded. “[b]WHATEVER IT IS![/b]”. The killer violently yelled as he pounded the computer desk with clenched fists. “[b]They are united, one of them now is on a bloodlust, Varvatos has a mech, and they freed Nighthawk! My time grows-[/b]” “They freed Nighthawk?” Toaster asked dryly. “Who did this? I suspect [b][I]FOWL PLAY.[/I][/b]” Toaster then proceeded to begin laughing incessantly again, this time with a program that showed him on a couch slapping his knee. A Chicken sound played nearby. Everyone hiding tried their best to hold in their laughter as Toaster kept laughing. “I bet you couldn’t handle the co-“ “[b]QUIET!!!!!!”[/b] The killer yelled. “No.” “[b]No-YES! -blam!- you Toaster! Give me the key, and open up a log!”[/b] The killer complained. “Tell me of what you wish to do again first, please.” “[b]HURGH-tck! FINE.[/b]” The killer shook as he said those words. A violent shaking, as if he was on the verge of destroying the computer. “I get it…he’s trying to tell us what the killer is gonna do tonight so we can catch him!” Aku whispered to chubby. Chubby peered out and grabbed his wakizashi by the hilt, a smaller yet nimbler katana. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, Aku. Toaster has betrayed others for his own gain before.” “[b]I plan on killing everyone here for fun and games before the night ends. To do this I had planned on splitting up the groups 1 by 1. THERE! Are you happy? NOW GIVE ME MY KEY.[/b] “…okay.” Toaster acknowledged and began fabricating a small remote on the far side of the room, where Saber was hiding. The killer walked over and grabbed the remote, dropping on of his orbs. “[b]Damnit!”[/b] The orb rolled to Saber’s feet, who nudged it a bit to remove his foot from line of sight, as the killer approached, he kept thinking to himself. “Please don’t see me, please don’t see me. Please don’t see me.” The killer grabbed the orb and noticed something out of place. “HE SEES ME, HE SEES ME, HE SEES ME.” Frantically thought Saber. “Ahem, Death?” Toaster interrupted. “I have detected movement on the upper floors near the kitchen.” The killer turned back toward the computer. Finally, I can now kill those four fools with the refrigerator trap. Now shut off.” Toaster turned his screen off, leaving the room a darkish blue. The killers green and yellow eyes stood out in the dark as he moved to the stairwell. Then, the door closed, and he was gone. The four of them gathered at Toaster’s core terminal. “Whew, that was close.” Aku sighed. “Any chance he’s gone for good?” “No, because we are gonna chase him.” Chubby replied. __________________________________________________ Timns and traffic cone gathered in the garage, where several vehicles were stored. Nearby, a Halo Warthog sprang to life, as Timns began to drive it forward. “ALRIGHT! Cone, get that door open! Sooner we get out, the sooner we can come back with help!” He yelled. Cone walked toward the door, mumbling about Liam. “20 grand a year for the most dangerous job ever, and nighthawk gets paid more? Bullshit!” He said as he pressed a few buttons on the door. With the last button he pushed, the Warthog suddenly began humming. Timns looked at the hood of the jeep. “Ugh, don’t tell me Tiger drove this one too.” The Warthogs white lights suddenly turned red, and a robotic voice akin to the killer spoke from the radio. “DRIVE.” Suddenly, [url=https://youtu.be/uZS0WIQI7UU]music[/url] began playing as the wheels spun to life, almost running over Timns. “SHIT!!! CONE LOOK OUT!” “The hell is that music?” Cone asked as he turned around to see the Warthog going top speed toward him, and he yelped as it crashed into him and exploded. “NO!” Timns yelled. A small traffic cone hat fell in front of him, and the robotic voice on the intercom spoke, “[b]11 little Offtopics, all packing their bags. 10 there are now, as one died to a running gag![/b] [spoiler]#BlameDavyTimns for giving me the Warthog idea[/spoiler]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon