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Edited by FelifluxMadness:
9/13/2019 11:22:40 PM
12
How do you help someone who struggles with an addictive personality
Genuine question.
A friend of mine keeps screwing up and falling off the wagon and he hates himeself for it every time because of the terrible decisions he makes. Besides offering my concern, I really don't know how else to get through to him, because he gets a one track mind when he drinks that leads him to doing things he regrets, but he knows what he's doing is stupid.
At the same time I can't be his babysitter, and I don't want to straight up deck him in the face to get my points across.
Anyway. Question stands.
Edit: Thanks for your perspectives, dudes.
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2 Replies[quote]I really don't know how else to get through to him, because he gets a one track mind when he drinks that leads him to doing things he regrets, but he knows what he's doing is stupid.[/quote] Yeah, it sucks. Been through it myself. Funny thing was I was the one screwing my life up with drink. My family and friends were the ones having to deal with it. Everyday I knew what I was doing was wrong. I used to wake up thinking "I'll change today" and "I can't cope with this anymore." And then the cycle would just continue - I would continue to drink and things would continue to get worse. The scary thing was I felt I was letting everyone down and it would just spiral out of control. It took me hitting absolute rock bottom to start to change. My advice? Do something sooner rather then later. Depending on how much he's drinking he could be completely destroying his liver - potentially life threatening. When you tell someone they're going to die if they continue what they're doing that tends to wake them up to reality. Or get their parents involved. Do they know how bad it is?
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1 ReplyFrom personal experience.. also having an addictive personality .. they don’t wanna feel limited. But also they won’t change until they want to do it for themselves.. it’s a bad deal overall but I hope your friend can one day wake up and realize life is worth living. Tell him to focus on the little things man.
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8 RepliesGive him a bottle of Mexico's shittiest tequila and say "bet you cant finish it by tonight"
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1 ReplyHrrrm, inspiration and overall, just believing that they can do it. Sorry I can’t help much more >_<
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Alcohol is a poor coping mechanism. A better coping mechanism is GETTING UP EARLY and WORKING on something you find MEANINGFUL and not making EXCUSES to not do the things you’re SUPPOSE TO. Basically the guy probably doesn’t feel good, because of this or that, so he throws himself into what’s easiest - vices and escape. Many have been there. Many have gotten through it. Many have been consumed by it. But there’s always a way for anyone to change for the better. Just takes the courage and discipline to do what’s best for yourself. Hard to do without good relationships though. And the first relationship is with yourself. Or god. Or your cat. Or anything that gives you the bravery to DO BETTER.
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1 ReplyTherapy/Church group might work?
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1 ReplyEdited by DemonicChronic: 9/13/2019 9:40:10 PMI have a very addictive personality, and the only thing I know that will fight it is to fill the void in your life that you're trying to make up for with your addiction, which is something very personal and has to be initiated through a lot of self reflection that isn't strictly cynical in nature. Friends and family can push a person towards taking those steps, but that person ultimately has to be willing to do it, and if they aren't then they're almost certainly going to remain trapped in their current situation. At least, until some external force shakes their life up considerably and they finally get on a better path or possibly even a much worse one. It all depends.
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Edited by H1vac: 9/13/2019 9:34:05 PMGet them addicted on something else beneficial to their health. Or make known the futility of his circumstance: say “I challenge you to drink 7 (whatever he likes drinking). Then, tomorrow, I want you to drink 14. Then, I want you to get fired from your job for slacking. I want you to drink until you’re dead! I want you to die because of poor decisions.” That might work. Tell straight the outcome of his addiction.
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You’ll never stop them from being an addict. You can only help them change what they’re addicted too.
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5 RepliesEdited by Quissy: 9/13/2019 5:26:32 PMgive him some punishment. like start small say. if you don’t stop i’m not gonna talk to you for extended amount of time. If he cares for you he’ll stop. It sounds mean, i know. But it works
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Introduce him to weed instead
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Ultimately you can do nothing more than offer support. Most times that's nothing more than just being open and available to them, but never condoning the actions that they keep failing at. It's called accountability. It takes 2 people to do it. So if you find after a while that you are the only one actually participating, it may be time to sever your connection to them if they are on a self destructive path. It doesn't mean you disown them, but you keep some distance from them because that destructiveness can and often does bleed over onto the one trying to help. Bottom line is, the friend has to do one of 2 things; A) they make a determined effort to clean up and stop drinking. (Less likely) There are ways that they can stop and change their life. B) they have to hit rock bottom HARD before either making a concerted decision to change, or they may run out of chances, if you get my meaning. It sucks and it's rough either way, but as a friend, those are really your only options.
