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OffTopic

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Edited by A Tigerstorm: 9/19/2019 8:14:43 PM
7

The Offtopic Murder Mystery: FINALE

Nighthawk peered into the attic and found Xombie wrestling with his chains. He did not get far. No matter. He would die soon. So too would Ringleader. Speaking of Ringleader, Nighthawk presumed this was a trap set by the former Lore Vanguard. Regardless, he stepped forward. “Time to die your final death Xombie.” Xombie looked up from his chains. “Don’t be so sure Nighthawk!” Just then, lights flared up behind him. Nighthawk turned to see his 3.67 million dollar car turned on, and gunning toward him. Ringleader was behind the wheel. They must’ve found the keys he had stashed in his barrel. Those fiends! He had been played like a guitar! “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!” He screamed as the car propelled itself toward him. In response to this, Nighthawk yelped and flew above the roof of the car. “OHHHH -blam!-!!!!!!!!!” Both Xombie and Ringleader screamed. The Car was going too fast to stop. Xombie tried to dodge out of the way, but it was too late. The car barreled over him, crushing him with the tires. The sound of bones cracking echoed throughout the mansion. Oddly enough, he didn’t scream. Ringleader, on the other hand, screamed his ass off. The car crashed through the wall of the mansion and began a long fall to the ground. Nighthawk heard a distant crash, and a very faint yell, “-blam!-!” Ringleader was still alive. But Nighthawk wanted to make sure Xombie was not. He walked over to the body, to see Xombie twitching. “Sweet…Bernthal…cookies…my…spi..spine!” Nighthawk kneeled down. “Well isn’t this a surprise. The Great Old Xombie himself dying. How-“ “Just…-blam!-ing…kill me already you piece of shit bird!” Xombie squirmed. “Fine then.” ___________________________________ Ringleader crawled out of the wreck of the car. He glanced back up at the house, and realized where he was. He was out of the house. “Haha!! -blam!- you Nighthawk! I’m out! I’m mutha--blam!-ing ou-“ A gunshot suddenly went off. Ringleader gazed back at the hole he made, knowing exactly what happened. “Oh shit.” The second he finished saying that, Nighthawk leaped from the hole and floated down to the ground. “Forgot I could fly right?” “Uhhhhhh….” “No matter, time to die Ringleader.” Nighthawk leveled the gun at his head. “It’s time all things die. Know this Ring, it ain’t personal.” “You killed like 12 other people just for being called a furry.” Ring retorted. “Ohhhh, big words for a man who’s on the ground looking like his daddy issues are coming to light.” Nighthawk shot back. “What’s a daddy issue? Oh you mean the milkman not coming back?” “Oh for chrissakes, JUST -blam!-ING DIE!” Nighthawk yelled. But before he could fire a shot off, sirens began. Both of them confused, they looked toward the road, and saw the sun rising, along with several police cruisers. The lead car stopped in front of them, and Investigator Varatos Vex as well as Detective Muggy stepped out. “That the one Muggy? Is that Nighthawk?” Vex asked. “That’s him. Toaster’s data was correct. Guess Moondawg had the good idea of sending us here.” Muggy responded. “Oh shit…I probably should’ve blocked Verizon cell signals…hey I need to go..” Nighthawk said. Muggy then yelled, “ [url=https://youtu.be/r_2Jduxc2P8] STOP! YOU’VE VIOLATED THE LAW![/url] In response to that, Nighthawk shot off a shot and tried to fly away, only to get tackled by a Officer. He was cuffed, and thrown in the back of a cruiser. “THIS ISN’T OVER!!!! I WILL HAVE REVENGE!!!!” He yelled. “Sure ye will. Varatos Vex has saved the day!” Vex said triumphantly. “You did jack shit Vex, Toaster was the one who figured it out" Muggy said. "Oh go check in on the witness." Ringleader, who had been lying on the ground was taken into the back of an ambulance. Muggy walked up to him. “How you livin’ Ring? Heard you are the key witness that will condemn Nighthawk.” “Well, I’ve got one minor complaint about all of this.” Ringleader responded. “And what’s that Ringleader?” “Nature is -blam!-ing cliche with it's timing."

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