JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

Service Alert
Destiny 2 will be temporarily offline tomorrow for scheduled maintenance. Please stay tuned to @BungieHelp for updates.

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by The Trinity Ghoul [Lee]: 3/28/2019 9:07:05 PM
10

The Sheriffs Department

[quote]It was a quiet in Offtopic, yet the silence seemed to build. Like it was about to release a dam of chaos. Well today was that day, and it's victim was Cowboy Coltman[/quote] Cowboy Coltman was sitting in his rocking chair in his living room with his wife and kids, when all of a sudden, a group of men stormed into the house. They stuck up there guns and they obliged to whatever they said, in fear of what they were capable of. They took his money and all his livestock. But it's more important what they did to his family. They tortured his kids and they did unspeakable things to his wife. All while he was chained up to watch. Watch and do nothing. His rage was immense and with that rage he broke the chains, and began fighting the criminals. He punched one so hard he died, but then held him down after that. They were going to kill him. There would be no one to protect his family. Until a gun was laid upon the criminals. Lee The Sheriff: Let go of the man and his family now, or else The men scoffed and turned to the man in a black coat, and a cowboy hat hiding his face. They lunged at Lee, but in a spilt second Lee put a bullet straight through all their foreheads. Cowboy Coltman fell to his knees and looked around at his family. His kids were slowly bleeding out, and his wife was broken. Her pupils had shrunk. They looked lifeless. Cowboy Coltman: Do something! Anything! Can't you help them?! Lee nodded and put a white rose in each of victims hands. He stood up and looked at Coltman. He was shaking. Lee The Sheriff: Don't worry you're family is going to be alright, these roses have special healing properties. How are yo- Cowboy Coltman: I'm going to make sure nothing like this ever happens again.... To anyone; Cowboy Coltman hands were shaking as if an earthquake filled his body. He looked at Lee. Cowboy Coltman: Aren't you the sheriff? Please, let me work with you! You saved us. Teach me how to wield the weapons you hold, for justice! Lee grinned a bit. He handed Coltman a piece of paper with an address. Lee The Sheriff: Meet there tomorrow, I'll show you the ropes and introduce you to everyone Cowboy Coltman looked at Lee and smiled. Lee left and Coltman looked back to his family and tended to them. [quote]The day passed and Coltmans family embraced him, while Lee admired the dark mysteries of the night.[/quote] Cowboy Coltman approached the department and went inside. Ricksta: Lee, the Rookies here. Ricksta was playing cards with Holmes and Watson. By the red on his face, it looked liked Ricksta was losing. Lee: Welcome to your second home! Before we start, we need to get you filled in with paperwork. Sherlock Holmes: That's you Rick Ricksta: Can't wait until the newbie gets to do this, I f*cking hate this part of the job! When am I going to do real deputy stuff? Lee: Woah, you kiss your sister with that mouth? John Watson: You messed it up again Lee: [b][u]F*CK![/u][/b] Ricksta: Hypocrite... Lee: What was that? Did you say you wanted to do [i]more[/i] paperwork? Ricksta: U-Uh No sir! Lee: That's what I thought Cowboy Coltman: K, finished, what now? Lee: We take a trip to the gun range, Rick, Holmes, Watson that means you too. They all sighed and grabbed their guns. [quote]So they made thier way to gun range that was nearby. It was about a three hour ride and Watson had eaten Indian food the night before so it wasn't pretty[/quote] Lee: Ok now that we're out of that hell-hole that is Watsons flatulence, let's get shooting. Homes grabbed his musket, Watson grabbed his Uzi, ricksta grabbed his pistol, and Coltman grabbed a shotgun from the armory. Lee: Shotgun, eh? Well you should know something about that gun you're wielding, the kick back is really hard. There's also two firing modes, condensed & spread. Coltman: What the hell type of shotgun is this? Rick: A really fancy one, I should know since I designed it myself. And Lee is right, the kick back on that thing crazy, so be careful. Lee: Alright let's get shooting, Rick, you first. Ricksta started sweating profusely. This shot could determine if he did paperwork or not. He readied his gun, aimed, then fired. Watson: AHHHH! MY FOOT, YOU BASTARD!!! Somehow Rick managed to shoot Behind him. Everyone laughed. Rick: Oh my God! I'm sorry, Lee can you get him one of your roses? Lee nodded and wrapped the rose around his foot. Coltman starred confused on how to these things work. Coltman: How can a [i]rose[/i] do that? Lee: Well I would tell you, but a poll showed no one cared to hear my backstory Coltman: What? Lee: Alright Watson your next Watson grabbed his Uzi and a sick frin filled his face. John Watson: EAT LED, LED! Watson held down the trigger and started to spray his bullets all over the targets. Lee: Not bad, but sloppy. Alright Holmes you're up. Sherlock Holmes: Why do me and Watson need to do this? We're detectives, not officers. Lee: We must be prepared for anything, now get shooting. Holmes shook his head, and shot his musket. He missed most but hit some. Lee: Hm. Ok. Coltman, all you. Coltman grabbed his gun and closed his eyes. He steadied the gun and shot. He hit the target! But he flew back into the wall. Cowboy Coltman: OW Ricksta: Told ya it had some kick. Lee: Well you hit the target. But maybe we can get some nails on your shoes. Rick if you can make a gun that auto aims, you're good to be off of paperwork. Ricksta: Yeah I was thinking about doing that... Lee: Holmes, Watson, you're back on paperwork. Besides that's sort of in your job description. [quote]So the department was growing, in number and in training. For whatever threat that comes, they'll be ready. Coltman looked around and found himself right where he needed to be..[/quote]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon