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12/18/2018 7:53:55 AM
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The Tragic Garage Sale of 2011

It was the summer of 2011 and I was getting ready to venture into my junior year of [b]high[/b] school. My parents had decided to have a garage sale to get rid of all our crud. The house was caving in...there was so much crud. I was consumed by the crud. I became the crud. Anyways, that’s beside the point... the point is they were selling all our crud. My bike.. my psp... my birth certificate... but that’s not the worst of it. No no... THOSE SONS OF *ITCHES let me sell something worth more than the gift of life... I was going through the “Everything is Gay” phase and stupidly sold my [spoiler]Pokémon cards[/spoiler] [spoiler]for measly pint of blood.[/spoiler] [spoiler]OH THE AGGONY... WHAT A TRAGIC TALE... shortly after that I started filling the void I had with collecting.. not cards... but hands.. that’s right you heard me... HANDS.. I even grow organic GMO free hands I the lab... anyways, I’m babbling on I must go now.. and obey the pixies in my head [b]OR ELSE[/b][/spoiler] ✋
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