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I base all my expectations for others on the premise that everyone is at least at my level of ability. [spoiler]And I’m always disappointed.[/spoiler]
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Douchebag
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The sexiest damned trucker you will ever meet and with a sense of humor that would make Gabriel Iglesias break down and cry with jealousy!
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“No man can eat fifty eggs!”
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I'm the living embodiment of God.
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I am just a humble partaker of nice wine, exemplary cheese, deep thought, and T. S. Elliot. I can't believe that anyone else would do any other things than this.
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Inherently more far eastern than most of the people here. Innately superior at creating grain-inspired delectable dishes.
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Slightly smart
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-insert big important words here-
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Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension.
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[quote]Pretentious: Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc. than is actually possessed.[/quote] Your welcome
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I embody the successful combination of toast and envelopes in every way imaginable.
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My intelligence far surpasses yours. Rick and Morty is essentially the equivalent of a Leap Frog educational show on PBS Kids to me.
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[spoiler]I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot o' news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse! With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse! With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypoten-potenuse! I'm very good at integral and differential calculus I know the scientific names of beings animalculous In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General! I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes! Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore! And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore! And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pina-Pinafore! Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral He is the very model of a modern Major-General! In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin" When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a Javelin When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat" When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee! You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee! You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a, sat a gee! For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral I am the very model of a modern Major-General But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral He is the very model of a modern Major-General![/spoiler]
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The descendant of knights and nobles, a wise and humble man, destined to lead the armies of men against the tides of evil, wielder of the sword of justice, and holder of great power. Pretentious enough?
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Basically I’m better than you at everything.
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Ugly. Outside (and in). Probably cause I've had a couple surgeries. (Why I'm ugly inside)
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I'm better than you. [spoiler]There, I tried.[/spoiler]
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A child directly descended from the root of all. And the local government has gone through great pains to keep me from killing myself out of boredom.
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I’m the most adorable midget.