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Edited by DeMix: 7/27/2018 9:09:55 PM
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DeMix

Why I've been absent

Hi, I'm finally back here on OffTopic after like two months, haha. And I feel like I need to tell you guys why I've really been gone. Okay, so I have really bad social anxiety. And when I say really bad, I mean really bad. I've had this problem ever since I was thirteen years old. It feels like when I go out in public I'm going to war and everyone is out to kill me, everyone is looking at me as a target, and I'm constantly on edge. Which has made me dependant on alcohol. Also, every time I would miss a week of the WYRs I felt like you guys hated me, which really stressed me out. My dad also dislikes me now. I told him why I'm not a Christian anymore, and that I'm an agnostic atheist and he told me straight to my face I'm going to hell. And that hurt me so bad mentally. I can tell in his eyes he despises me now. And I don't have anything against somebody because of their religion, race, or sexuality. We were watching Game of Thrones one night and a gay scene came up and he literally said, "eww, fa**ots." Which hurt me even more. The reason is that I grew up and was taught that everyone should just love each other and that you should treat someone the way you would want to be treated. And to find out my dad is a homophobe really struck a nerve with me. I went to the doctor because I desperately needed anti-depressant medication to cope with family issues and life and got prescribed Paroxetine. And it has only helped a little. Every time I turn on the news there is somebody who got r*ped, kidnapped, murdered, children getting murdered, a mass amount of negative political debates, starving children, diseases, and I just don't feel like living on this planet anymore. I'm not suicidal, just really damn depressed. Enough about me, how has my amazing OffTopic family been?

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  • Edited by LiftedElf235165: 7/28/2018 8:32:42 AM
    I am sorry to hear that you are going through such troubling times. If you ever need to talk we are here for you. I don't really know how good antidepressants will work, but please try to quit drinking. It may seem to help you, but it ends up causing nothing but problems. Edit: and we would never get mad at you for not posting. It isn't your duty to cater to us. It's something that you do in your free time. If it is no longer fun for you, than feel free to quit.

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