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Edited by TheLegs41: 3/29/2018 6:02:16 PM
11

Lying on the Ground Simulator (MHW)

So I made a post awhile back about my gripes against Monster Hunter, and I was criticized for not getting far enough into the game, using the wrong weapon, etc. Well I finished the main quests today, and most of my opinions remain the same. After taking a week long break to play Sea of Thieves, XBLive was having issues with the game pass, so I decided to hop back on MH. I had stopped at the 3 elder dragons that follow Nergigante, after trying Val H a few times and getting annoyed by the bullshit. I grabbed my Nerg Charge Blade and started up the quest for Val (I call her Valerie), and after taking one death straight up the ass, I managed to kill it without it even going to sleep (idk if that’s good or bad). [spoiler]Good ‘ole Val was the most annoying imo. The fact that it could simultaneously half your health bar, stun you, [i]and[/i] throw you into pools of acid was just unfair and lame.[/spoiler] Then I started up the Teostra, got thoroughly shitmixed 3 times, and failed the first attempt. I changed weapons to my water cb, and killed him on my next attempt with only 1 death.[spoiler]My favorite one because he looked amazing, but I was woefully disappointed with his armor sets. Was not a fan of him lighting me on fire every 2 seconds, though.[/spoiler] I had saved the Kushala Dora the Explorer for 3rd because I had heard it was the most annoying one. I got my Nerg cb back out managed to kill it without dying on my first attempt.[spoiler]I honestly don’t know how I managed to not die. The amount of times I was stunned in a tornado while he was about to swoop down on me made me want to cry. The monster itself looked beautiful though. It was honestly tough to decide if I like it more than Teo or not.[/spoiler] (almost) Last but not least, the Xenomorph. I had never heard of nor seen this thing in my life, so I had no idea what to expect. My first thought was “Am I fighting an old house?” because as soon as I get into this fight, this big badass blue demon dragon rears up like he’s going to roar, but then he goes and creaks at me like a loose staircase. The fight was pretty intense, though. I failed twice, and died once on the last attempt. I managed to break all of its parts though, which is something I didn’t do on the others. And the REAL last but not least, an extra quest after the credits. I went through all the cutscenes and the credits, and I looked at all the new armors I had unlocked. Then I noticed I had a new quest that I could do. I look at the details and almost choke to death. This quest was for (not one, but) [i]two[/i] Bazels, and not just ordinary ones, but amped ones. I thought surely it was a joke. They’d never make a quest with that kind of shear bullshit, right? [spoiler]Turns out it probably was a joke, because I managed to capture both of them when I hadn’t even been able to kill a normal one. Must’ve had those f*ckers set on easy mode instead of amped. Or their steroid supplier gave them loads of estrogen as a prank.[/spoiler] Anyhow, after I finished all of those quests I was reflecting on all my experiences, and thought to myself “Wow. How the f**k did I do that?” I went from not being able to dent the low rank Anjanath, to taking down 2 Bazels in the same mission. And throughout it all, while I think it’s a great game, I still think it’s full of the cheapest, most unbearably inefficient shit I’ve ever seen. [spoiler]Here let me just put my weapon away so I can sharpen it. Hey palico, can you wait to throw that vigorwasp until [i]after[/i] I drink this mega potion? Thanks. Ah it’s ok, monster, I like lying on the ground more than attacking anyway. I’ll just spend the majority of the fight here. Hey, you’re running away from me while I’m 10 feet behind you? Better get hit by that tail. Hey monster, this ultimate, insanely damaging attack has a pretty long wind up. Can you stand still until the nanosecond before it hits? Thanks. Hey multiple monsters, can you take turns roaring so that I never leave this stun animation? Thanks. And also if you could hit me 20 times in the meantime, that’d be great too.[/spoiler] Edit: When I say “last main mission” I mean last story mission. As in last mission before the credits roll. The Bazels and tempered Kirin and anything else like them are all epilogue missions. They might as well be in the optional category since they aren’t necessary to complete the main story. Edit 2: Another one of my main gripes with this game is the fact that it’s marketed as a multiplayer game, but in all honesty playing multiplayer is a huge handicap. The monster is buffed out of its ass and its movement gets way too erratic with that many targets. Every time I play with friends, either they end up dying immediately or I end up getting one shot because the monster leaped across the map while I was sharpening or drinking a potion.
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