Spooky.
7/10 spooks needs more spook, otherwise pretty spooky.
[spoiler]I'd say "it needs x" in seriousness but I don't quite know what's missing, maybe it all happened too fast? An actual writer might be able to help.[/spoiler]
English
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Just posted another one. I'm working on a very long one atm. But it won't be finished for another week or two. The new one is an improvement.