Name: Jeff aka The Humpday Hero Age: Unknown Height: 6ft Weight: 170 Background: Born in the northern reaches of Saskatchewan during an unusual formation of the aurora borealis exactly at noon on Wednesday, The Humpday Hero was infused with strange other-worldly powers Ally: Deanna Jones, meteorologist Rival: Quasi-Moto X, a motocross riding bro that tried jumping his motorcycle over a chemical plant to impress some cheerleaders that he didn't know were traps. The stunt went horribly wrong, and the chemicals reacted to the moonlight, swelling his trapezoidal muscles to gargantuan proportions, and making the traps so impressed that they are now deranged in their loyalty to him. Superpowers: The Humpday Hero can drink and store an immense amount of water in his back-hump, going months without drinking. On Wednesday afternoons, he can levitate in the air to a maximum height of 78 feet, and float in the same direction, and at the same speed of, the wind. He can sense when people are dying of thirst, and makes it his mission to bring them water. Regurgitating it from his water-storing hump, he has saved several lives. He uses a walkie talkie to stay in touch with meteorologist Deanna Jones, as she informs him of prevailing winds to help him float and maneuver to his intended destinations. To fund her private meteorological array, and support the intrepid humped hero, she starts in a series of adult films: "In Deanna Jones" Six and a half days a week, Jeff lives a mild mannered life as a hump-backed accountant, but Wednesday afternoons, he dons his Dromedary suit with baggy arms and loose parachute pants, and floats around the area of greater Los Angeles, helping those with insane thirst. Quasi-Moto X hates the Humpday Hero, because the accident that caused his own trapezoidals to swell into monstrous muscles, making him look like a hunchback, could have been prevented, in his opinion, if he had been properly hydrated. "If only the Humpday Hero were able to have hydrated me on a Thursday morning in the valley, bro, I totally woulda pulled off that sick jump!" But now, with his supernatural attractiveness to traps, Quasi-Moto X remains ever thirsty for a real woman, and blames Humpday Hero for being stuck with only traps at his side. He uses his minions, "The Dickoys" as he calls them, led by Pitfall Hairy, to lure Humpday Hero by making men thirsty whenever they can, and they thwart the efforts of Humpday Hero at every turn. It's an epic, eternal struggle for hydration, preservation of our bodily fluids, and a moist way of life for all Los Angelinos.