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OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by Wholesome Sand Eater: 3/13/2017 9:23:47 PM
21

Memelords of offtopic, I need copypastas

Anything to drown the plebs in #destiny

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  • Dear Prius Drivers, Please stop driving like entitled little shits. You think your car is better for the environment therefore you are entitled to the road. I hate to break it to you but that "green" car of yours is actually worse for the environment than a hummer. How you ask? Well it's all in how the car is made, The mining and processing of the nickel for the batteries produces a shit ton of pollution. So you're car actually sucks for the environment so you are in no way entitled to the roads. So do the world a favor and buy a big boy car ok? Sincerely, A BMW Driver; The Original entitled drivers. Dear BMW Driver, Shut up and get your slow asses off the road. Sincerely, A Lambhorghini Driver, the true entitled drivers. Dear Lamborghini Driver, shut up and get your weak asses off the road. - sincerely tank operators 1-3 Dear tank drivers, Your slow, get off the road. Sincerely, Apache helicopter pilot, the one and only entitled driver. Dear Apache Helicopter Pilots, Get your slow asses out of the air. Sincerely, Jet pilots, the one true entitled driver Dear Jet pilots, Get your no range having ass back on the ground. Sincerely, KC130 refueling pilots, the one true entitled driver. Dear everyone else, Your vehicles all suck, they can't even leave Earth's atmosphere. Sincerely, An astronaut and space shuttle pilot. Winner ---------------------- >The year is 2066 >Wake up, turn on TNN (Trump News Network) >Watch the destruction from the Blitzkrieg of Europe >Think to myself "Thank God I live in Trumptopia" >Look outside my window >Notice the Trumpstapo kick down my neighbors door >They drag out my neighbor, Francisco Pedro Alejandro Gomez >Trumpstapo force him onto his knees >A man in solid gold comes up to my neighbor, closely followed by his guards, the Trumpen-SS >I squint and notice that it's him, it's really him >Trump the Ever-Living >Trump the Undying >Trump the Conqueror >The other neighbors started to gather around >"You're illegal aren't you?" Our Lord asked >"No senor, no no!" >"That's what they all say" >The Trumpstapo got him on his feet "What should we do with him, my Lord?" >The Trumptator smirked >My neighbors begin to chant >"Wall! Wall! Wall! Wall!" >"Send him to the Wall! Take him away!" >My neighbors cheer and celebrate >Several days later >Turn on TNN >On Fridays, TNN live streams the Wall >All the illegals found that week are stood up on top of the Great Trump Wall >Notice my neighbor is among them >A man in solid gold appears on top of the Wall >How he gets there is unknown, he just does it, he's Trump the Ever-living >The camera zooms in on our Lord >"To all illegals that continue to taint Trumptopia, I will find you. And I will stump you." >Lord Trump begins to kick each illegal one by one off the wall >Their screams echo and quickly disappear as they fall to their death >Those that came to Wall to see the action live shout "STUMPED" after each illegal is kicked What a great time to be alive ---------------------- The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start. ---------------------- Life is precious, and suicide is a serious issue to be handled by licensed professionals. Bungie employees and forum moderators are not trained to handle those in a suicidal crisis; please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You may also wish to contact any of the following crisis prevention resources: US: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org www.spanusa.org UK: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx Canada: http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ International Directory: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Military Crisis Line: Active duty, Guard and reserve service members, their families and friends stateside and in Europe have 24/7 access to the Military Crisis Line at no cost. For crisis support, those in the U.S. call 800-273-8255, then press 1. Callers in Europe dial 00800-1273-8255 or DSN 118. The toll-free service in Europe may not be available through all carriers or in all countries. Military One Source Toll Free Number: 800-342-9647 Military One Source Crisis Prevention: http://m.militaryonesource.mil/crisis-prevention [spoiler]ok[/spoiler]

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