Hello to everyone under the sun and welcome to another edition of Tower Today with yours truly. These are a reinvented version of "Murdiusmaximus" Weekly updates, who fell silent and I felt the need to continue my work in place of his.
[b]In response to the last 2 polls who picked the clickbait, "Nope" Is my answer. Please vote above for the next star in these tower today updates.[/b]
Moving on! This week we have a very special guess who...sadly I had to pay for their time but was more then happy to do the interview. Without further adieu I present this weeks star! ... Wait
[b]Where did he... Brent!? Where did he...[/b]
~Smoke bomb is thrown into the room~ Dun dun duuuunn! Hey hey everybody how're ya doing? Ca-
[b]Cayde! For the love of god! I told you to stay here until the camera was rolling![/b]
Dude, really? You just messed up my dramatic entrance. Whats the problem here? Did you NOT want me for an interview?
[b]No. But still man, why the smoke bomb? I'm scared to breathe right now, what are even in these? Vacuum lint?[/b]
Heh, well. You don't wanna know, so uh, interview right? What do you wanna know?
[b]Well, what do you do in the tower? You guys only just stand there.[/b]
Not true! I move...sometimes. But what do I do? A lot actually, I get the first to know and sign offs on many things like, tower deliveries, every guardians death, love that part by the way...
[b]I bet you do...[/b]
When an enemy strikes an outpost, when amanda holiday takes her baths, when a scout on my hunter roster dies, love that part by the way...
[b]Wait what was that other part?[/b]
Yeah I know! Every time an enemy strikes an outpost I get the first hear on it...annoying.
[b]No I meant the ba-[/b]
Next question.
[b]Typical, okay then. So how exactly did you come to be? Like...where did you come from?[/b]
Now thats a funny story!
[b]They always are...[/b]
You're gonna love this one. So like, a couple centuries ago before anything happened, like the 2016 election leading to americas civil slap fight and the traveler? I was a british pilot about to bomb a syrian outpost. Well, that was the plan anyways, we didn't fly until the 2nd day, 1st day though I was invading a base and came across an awesome bottle of vodka, Must've been made very specific, because it was yellow and had worms in it.
[b]I don't think that was vodka...and you're not even british...[/b]
Shhh, best part here. So we drained it out without the worms and gulped it down at our camp, was amazing stuff. We were dizzy, seeing triples, sad there weren't any chicks there, triple the mhm, amirite? Well, moving along we got a call back to our air force base and were ordered to fly on the 2nd day. We were all still completely smashed! So we thought "Hey, whats the worst that could happen!" So we got in our plains and not even before we reached syria we were already getting ganked, there were 3 times the pilots but they weren't shooting! So I thought hey, Get them before they take us, so I shot em all down and for some reason I was hit with a missile by one of my comrades, traitorous d***. So I flew out to russia and crashed into the mountains. Then time went by, my ghost "Foosball" finally found me, I went up in the ranks of the vanguard and here I am now, with an uppity warlock paying me 10k an hour. Life was pretty awesome!
[b]What, the, f***. You do realize you were still seeing triple and killed your co-pilots right?! Syrians didn't even have a proper air force yet![/b]
Eh, well whats done is done, what are they gonna do? Sue me?
[b]Thats horrible cayde! Did you not to stop to think about something and figure out its a bad idea?! Like sending me to my death in the dreadnaught!?[/b]
Hey whoa whoa, calm down there. You're still here right?
[b]Yes! But I lost Eris' ship in the process! Its all because of your by the numbers 1980s happy cowboy attitude![/b]
Hey now, simmer down there a**hole. "By the numbers" 1980s happy cowboy attitude? What the f*** is that supposed to mean?
[b]You're literally a stereotype! I think its fair to point that out![/b]
Oh, fair? You think I give a moist soggy bag of d*** lint I put into my smoke bombs about fair?! Listen here you backa** twaddle f*** and what the f*** is with these sensors? Cayde-6 is the highest rated destiny game character of all time! Well...except for p***star mara sov. ~Whips out phone and shows wallpaper~
[b]You do know children play these games right!? And Why would you show me that?![/b]
Children f***ing love it when we curse on video games and Because lets face it, at this point this interview is irrelevant. I'm a little bit too big a deal to be slamming it up in some dumb rip off of a played out fake news update on a dead game forum. So you fat boy? You're nothing, but web shows like moreconsole and boogie2988, thats the kind of Gig I should be getting paid for.
[b]~Sigh~ Yeah...commoners do say these haven't been funny for a long time.[/b]
Well look on the bright side, you still got a ficitonal co-host and you can atleast say you interviewed me. But hey before I go can I answer that one change thingy? I love that part.
[b]One change thingy...?[/b]
Yeah the end of the interviews where you ask me If i wanted to change one thing..you know?
[b]Oh uh...okay Cayde-6 if there was one thing in destiny you could change? What would it be?[/b]
What do you think it is? To get out of the damn tower. Now...~Cayde grabs camera~ So all you commoners and forumites...ladies...tune into channel 8 every wednesday at 6 for a shot at luck with Cayde-6. Ciao! ~Hands Ven back the camera~ Well, cya, just don't ask me to do this again for destiny 2 okay? I'm serious.
[b]Oh okay, do you uh...have shiros number by chance?[/b]
Yeah, I have it in my phone after amandas under the title "Jean valjean"
[b]Can you uh..give it to me?[/b]
Hehe. No.
Okay everyone, that was a little...depressing interview with cayde-6! He's uh...interesting.
Now onto destiny news, many are still awaiting for the release date of SRL and any teasers for the hope in the communities eyes for destiny II. Meanwhile, the raid has become ravaged, pillaged and at this point even this reporter has to say we drained the well dry, how little the well was. Will SRL bring the community together for an extended period? Will they not take it away and actually leave us with something to play while we wait for the rumored april update (If there is one?). Will they release a teaser for the game for everyone with their tinfoil hats to pick apart with theories we all know will be wrong? Why am I asking you all these questions? Well, because the updates aren't really informative because lets face it... They should've already released something on the page to let people know where this silence is being paid off, In other news, Lady efrideet will be returning with iron banner rift with the scout rifle and fusion rifle as well as some gear we uh, have already gotten, Xur also made a return with the peregrine greaves, crest of alpha lupi and the voidfang vestments with the 4th horseman to boot, so if you haven't picked these up, now is your chance.
[b]Hello everyone, Co-host Brent Miks here with another video of the week for guardians to sink their teeth into, rather it be bias or just a plain video you all can't stomach, we will actually move to a more lore focused video. This Video comes from fantastically enthusiastic youtuber "My name is byf" Enjoy the watch and stay tuned for the other news.[/b]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0urhCEDc9Zs
Thank you Brent.
In warframe news, Ember and frost will soon be unvaulting next week! So if you're new to the game, be prepared! Also Currently on PC the ash warframe has received a mega-nerf that has completely destroyed the frames purpose, while majority of people on consoles are trying to enjoy the frame before our next update kills him, the community on PC is hard at work with petitions to revert the nerf. Hopefully they succeed, because Ash is beautiful! Also, the war within is being prepped on console builds to be certified to release on consoles hopefully next week or the week following, meaning we will get our next cinematic questline, new area and all new features, hopefully not the ash nerf. Baro kiteer has made his bi-weekly return bringing in a load of s*** for veterans and simple shiny items for new players.
Onto Halo news, Halo wars 2 was announced and was shown a distressing trailer for the new story and the new enemy Atriox. More to come on that in the weeks ahead.
Thank you all for your read and your continued downsupport of this news update. For each clickbait I receive? I know I've made you feel something in your cold dead hearts, so I appreciate your support.
Thank you all for reading and I will be seeing you all again in 2 weeks, wanna enjoy some FFXV Veneficus Out!