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Edited by SnotMcBooger: 11/25/2016 7:39:31 AM
63

Motivating is better than Demotivating / Shaming

Hello everyone. I'm doing the raid on a regular basis with my clan or with complete random teams. I've been in all kinds of groups. The toxics, the relaxed, the non-stop talking ones, the ones with too much self-confidence, the ones with too little self-confidence and so on. I've almost never been successful in a toxic group. Everyone blames everybody else, the lag or Bungie. People get more and more frustrated until everyone is in rage mode and constantly does mistakes. Shaming and blaming never helped any group I've been with. The one who did a mistake feels bad about it and gets more and more insecure and just repeats the failure because all he can think about is said failure. Instead of shaming and blaming try to motivate to whole group. Of course you need to tell the person who did the failure what was wrong, but not in terms of blaming, try to see what the problem was and what could be done to prevent it. Give him tips and tricks to get around the failure. Even try to assing a new role / position to him if he keeps doing the same mistake. But don't say "Oh my god you're so bad, go to the left side that's the easiest for a noob like you", say something like "You want to switch sides with me? I've done the middle part alot of times and I would have selfrez if I die". And most important, after you pointed out what the mistake was and how to prevent it, boost his self-confidence. Tell him that you know that he can do it, that you've already seen him doing it correct and then just move on and make a joke or talk about something else. Backstory: Did the raid yesterday with a few clan mates and a random (awesome guy). One of our clan mates kept missing the jump to Aksis / supercharge plate from middle. After two missed slams I've checked his focus and saw that he was on "Balanced Glide" instead of "Focused Burst". Pointed it out and he said that he was not even aware that he was on this jump, he thought he had focused burst like he is always using. He then again failed because he was so afraid of doing another mistake and already said that he wants to leave to group because he is screwing us over and that we would've already cleared Aksis challenge without him. I've told him that I would get mad at him if he rage quits now because I know that he could do it. Asked him if he wants to go left because I've done middle multiple times and I could get to Aksis a bit quicker with my titan skate than he with his warlock floof. Joked around a bit while clearing the shanks and afterwards we all completed the challenge without anybody rage quitting. [b]TL;DR: Motivating is better than shaming and blaming.[/b]

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  • That's cool but I'm never gonna beat the raid on normal because every single group I find (which takes forever might I say) always fails and gives up extremely early, might as well be giving Bungie donations at this point :/

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  • I took a 357 Light Clanmate through Aksis Normal mode part 2 for his first time the other day; he did better than ANY lfg sweatie ive ever played with...

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    • Very well spoken. Getting angry in general when it comes to games only leads to playing worse and more mistakes being made. Love seeing posts like these :)

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    • It truly is frustrating and sad to hear your experiences with raid leaders being assholes. I feel fortunate to have a raid leader who is not only the clan leader, but is actually motivational, patient, and knows what he's doing by commanding the fire team on what to do. I've only had one asshole raid commander, he would always yell at me because of my mistakes, he mocked me all because I was a Hunter main. Go ahead, criticize me for my choice of class but know this, you're no better than the complaining Hunters you complain about. Anyways, I never talked to that [i]"raid commander"[/i] ever again, he sent me a friend request, but I declined. Now, I'm in a clan full of able, and willing guardians that are confident in help those who need it in raids. Btw, I haven't completed Aksis because of time. I know what to do, all I need is a quick refresher and I'm good because Wrath of The Machine is easy compared to Kings fall.

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      • Edited by NeonMilkMan: 11/26/2016 6:44:13 PM
        Then how would someone go about inflating their online ego?

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      • I point something out I get called some interesting names 😂. So I just fire back and we just have fun with it. You better be able to take an insult if you want to raid with us but I love it.

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      • Half these people commenting are probably the ones who make everyone wipe

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        • Some people are just jackasses. Like, serious people, it a video game. Some people get waaaaaaay too angry about things. There's far more pressing issues in real life. If you're gonna be an ass to people and have an aneurysm over things in a video game, you need to serious reevaluate your life.

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        • Even when your motivation to the team is: Kay guuyys, we gott dis. We get it dis run let's go. And you say that EVERY RUN ANFTER THE FIRST WIPE FOR HOURS ON END. [spoiler]No, it doesn't always help.[/spoiler]

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          • Edited by JHarv: 11/26/2016 4:33:39 PM
            Well yes and no. Sure it helps when people discuss and instruct. But at some point, someone needs to know what to do. You can't have a group of 6 people waiting to follow. I encourage more people to be vocal and lead. Call things out. Take it upon yourself to mention things you notice without waiting to be told. If you can't figure out what's going on after about 5 attempts at something, it's probably time to leave and watch a video on your own time. Too many entitled players act like they can just show up, and it's up to everyone else to make sure the job gets done. Contribute, and you won't ever be shamed. The only people who get shamed are the quiet, clueless people who die consistently to simple things. You have the power to make sure this isn't you.

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            • Awww... this was cute. You win +1 rainbows and unicorns!

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              • I agree. When I find a raid leader who is a jackass yelling at everyone, I usually start trolling and wiping on purpose lol. I would rather have fun than sit there and listen to some jackass. I have a boss at my job for that

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                • 3
                  I think this is a good way to act and treat others in general.... it's pretty sad people are able to become so mean spirited just because they can't see the person they are talking to.

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                • Edited by H1jAcK: 11/27/2016 12:18:42 PM
                  Normally, I'd completely agree. But there are exceptions. I had a group that did fairly well through the whole raid, up until phase 2. The entire raid, JimmyBadKid was dragging down the team, literally the only one struggling. After the same guy causes 10 wipes in a row, it's time to call them out and kick them. No insult to the player or their skill, maybe it was an off day, but there's a time to call out bad people for being bad, and it's after they've wasted over an hour of everyone's time on the same checkpoint. [spoiler]some names have been changed to protect their identities[/spoiler]

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                  • Too many toxic players who think they are high and mighty and treat other players like shit. I love when shit talkers screw up and try to blame glitches, etc.

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                  • I agree BUT sometimes it really is the lag... Or a weird bug such as a nearly invincible oryx.

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                    • You're making it sound way more serious than it is.

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                    • Trying to help people do the ship jumping puzzle in Kings fall makes me feel like a pro.[spoiler]And it gives me a good chuckle because they mess up the timing for their jumps a lot.[/spoiler]

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                      • I agree, but I struggle with holding my toxicity down. It's frustrating when a group just can't stay alive. Any tips?

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                        • I'll motivate you to leave my fireteam if you suck. Does that work??

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                          • This guy! THIS IS A HERO!! 👍

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                          • This is so true! Jumped on to help a mate Thursday at aksis. Phase one was a two attempt, phase 2 involved a few goes, lots of positive vibes and kicking the one guy that was toxic. After that, plain sailing.

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                          • I totally agree, unfortunately bullies like to make themselves feel good by making others feel bad.

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                          • Wish all guardians thought like you.

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                          • When one person is obviously the problem and you rotate around the jobs incase that wasn't the issue and the problems still rotate around one person wiping the team, it is much better to blame and kick then to keep bagging your head against a wall and getting demotivated as to why you are spending so much time on one activity. Get rid of the problem before it infects the rest of the team.

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                            • I normaly Quit Raids as I can't stand the arguments Raids produce. Many a good fireteam has broken up because of raid arguments that go on even the next day after the Raid. Horrible stuff seeing friends break up over a bad Raid.

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