My suggestion is to switch to a PvE server. If you don't like PvE then go to survivetheark.com and get on the xbox forums and find a dedicate PvP server that is more to your liking. But yes if you play PvP on official servers there will be trolls on every single server you go to.
It's kinda the whole reason to have a large tribe in ark, so no one will troll you.
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What server?
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What do you mean? I will try and guess. People can host their own dedicated server and set the settings them selfs. They can make their own rules, like to not allow the raiding of small starting out tribes or no offline raiding. Depends on what server you choose. But to find these servers go to the website I mentioned in the original post.