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Edited by Ogma: Destroyer of Worlds:
8/9/2016 1:07:22 AM
150
Cute neighbor downstairs keeps giving me muffins.
We leave for work at the same time every morning and she's given me muffins three times now. What do?
Edit: Can't believe someone likes this so much later. It didn't work out because we were different people but we had fun a few times.
Edit: Obviously I have been eating them and they are good.
Edit 2: OP is not disappointed with your humorous responses.
Edit 3: She came up to my door with pie, said she liked my kind of atheist bumper stickers and that I "seem like a cool dude", and wants to hang out some time. Who would have thought?
Edit 4: Just got back from her place and hanging out with her and her friend/ex that is apparently the reason she moved here less than a month ago. They finished clearing out their old apartment and were helping each other move. The funny thing is, I am friends with and currently live with my ex. So it was a bit of an icebreaker that were both still friends with our ex. When I left she said "So I'll see you again?" To which I replied yes. So now we see what happens from here.
Edit 5: Just got back from a date with her. It got awkward when age came up. I'm 34, she's only 23. Which I was shocked to hear considering based on her seeming level of intelligence, the way she talks, and what she's done and is currently doing with her life had me assuming she was closer to my age. Not sure what's going to happen. If it's weird for her I get it. It's kind of weird for me too.
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15 RepliesTell her you'd like to return the favor and buy her dinner.
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5 RepliesEdited by Apollo: 5/26/2016 4:45:23 AM34 ÷ 2 = 17 17+7= 24 Your good not good OP
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1 ReplyShow her your porch
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I take it that these muffins shes giving you are in response to your toast/envelope approach, yes? If so she's not into you bro, you would have gotten a similar looking envelope in the mail days ago.
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this a new type of toast/envelope?
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1 ReplyI think she's trying to poison you
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2 Replies[quote]atheist bumper stickers[/quote] Edgy
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Dude I'm over 14,000 years old and my girlfriend is 25. Not a big deal. As long as her walk and talk don't annoy you the way you imagine a 23 year old girls would, it could be great. Age doesn't make a person, trust me. The person makes the person. Experience, however can play a big role in how a person develops. It's always my issue when it comes time to pick a new woman with who I will eventually have to watch grow old and die. You have to remember that they have not had all the experiences you have in your 20's that ultimately shape who you are. In fact you are one of those experiences already. If being around her makes you happy. If you can put up with her shit and she can put up with yours, because everyone shits. Then there is absolutely no reason to not pursue it further.
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1 ReplyShow up on her porch.
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A bit weird. I'd go along though. If you have a lot in common and she's not a gold digger, you're golden!
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34 to 23 Holy hell
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8 RepliesTake her out to dinner and [i]subtly[/i] make innuendos about eating her muffin. Then [i]innocently[/i] smile.
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Two words [spoiler]Toast[/spoiler][spoiler]Envelope[/spoiler]
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She obviously knows the muffin man.
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6 RepliesLife is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me If you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much A cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies Some time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be ok You can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot If you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbage You can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket if you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you A cabbage is so pretty but you are real ugly You can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbage You can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing If you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is dead A cabbage can not get pregnant believe me I tried You can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby" If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying
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Giver her a muffler Yes a muffler Not a whole car Just the muffler.
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It's okay that it's weird for you, it will pass. Sounds like you got a good draw.
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Eat her f[u]u[/u]cking muffin, man. Tear into that bitch, mmmmmm
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What is muffins?
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1 ReplyBump for recent edit.
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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1 Reply( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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12 RepliesEdited by Tormented_Anus: 5/22/2016 1:32:57 AMShe's trying to make you fat so that one day she can push you down the stairs as you open your apartment door, then run inside and steal all your possessions while you lay bleeding and broken at the bottom of the stairwell.
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She's trying to poison you... DON'T EAT THE MUFFINS
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Choices are as follows: pursue neighbor as romantic interest. Indicate your interest in her company are strictly platonic. Run child, run like your soul depends on it.
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OP is gonna get date r@p3d
