[b]So i wrote this the night I broke up with my ex. I've asked a few friends about it but wanted to hear some more about it. So let me know what you think. [/b] ------------------------------------------- When I first heard from her She said she was done We were through I didn't know what to think What had happened Is it true Why's she saying this Is it my fault Am I to blame I took it that way And now the thought makes me go insane Once it sank in and registered I started to break down, shed my tears, from the hurt that festered I don't know what else to think or say But the feeling of sadness and total despair Realizing a relationship beyond any repair You and her through a heavy dissolution And you can't seem to find any -blam!-ing solution The old feeling of being the king of your girl And the only thing you feel is the burning in the underworld Flaming up all in your writhing heart So immensely hateful and insanely sharp I ask myself what I did to deserve this pain Might as well pull a gun to my head and make my blood rain Discovering that she left me for another man I think to myself in anxiety and awe how can he Take from me All that makes me Stand tall Stand long Keeps me going Keeps me strong Keeps me from seeing my insecurities Keeps me from seeing my unfortunate flaws She was the one that made me feel like a -blam!-ing god But all I feel is like a lowly fraud Left in the dirt to rot for all eternity When I thought I already spent that looking for serenity It went by so quick It's like it barely happened But then I think of all that we've done Lookin back I had Some of the greatest moments any man could ever dream to have And now i sit here feeling how can It be done with what we had And now to say that we're finished All I want is to be released from the pain of this I just wish we could still be together To go back to the feeling like we've won Back to where I could praise you but I miss you Especially how i miss it when you called me hun You promised me I would never feel pain like this Never to feel like a piece of shit But here I am dying inside right now And all I want to do I put myself in the ground Did we ever even mean something Or was this really just for nothing Is this a test of what we stood for? What did we stand for? Cause Im seeing nothing in this dark void All I'm seeing is betrayal of trust Lies, deceit, and everything under the sun of the such Sitting here thinking it's my final hour before I put an end to it all A bullet that'll free me from this hellfire trial Wondering if there's some guardian angel to save me To assure me That things will get better That everything will once again reach the peak Of all things that are great And I'll be happy But without any hope in sight I get ready to end the fight I take this glock and put it in my mouth I sit in silence and tears praying someone will save me from this fate as I start to pull the trigger and hear the hammer click I say to myself "this is it" I pull the trigger Pop goes the gun but I don't feel anything except what I feel right now It only felt as if words passed right through me Kinda like a light breeze I sit there wondering what the hell actually happened to me As I pull the gun back I see what I could never imagine The head of the bullet poking out of the barrel What had happened Was it a misfire A mistake What happened to stop what I thought was true fate To stop my own death in a frozen state As I look up in front of me Raising my head to see what was even the point I saw it standing there comfortingly it wasn't the angel I had asked for but rather a demon staring straight into me Once I understood why it was there I realized that I don't need an ensemble of angles protecting me But rather an army of demons always fighting for me