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5/11/2016 6:27:07 PM
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Did you ever watch that scary episode of Winnie The Pooh

You know, the scary episode of Winnie The Pooh where Eeyore lures Piglet into a storage unit and asks him if he can keep a secret, and Piglet says yes, and then Eeyore unzips a duffel bag and there are tons of pictures of Owl wearing bondage gear and Sailor Moon outfits and shit, and Piglet is visibly uncomfortable, and then Eeyore asks Piglet if he’s ever smoked angel dust, and Piglet shakes his head, and Eeyore asks him if he wants to try it, and before Piglet can say no, Eeyore shoves a red-hot metal pipe into Piglet’s mouth, and Piglet is scared but inhales anyway, and then he starts twitching and tripping really hard and hallucinating that Eeyore is eating sausage links straight from his belly, but it’s actually Eeyore kissing his tummy, and Eeyore keeps laughing sort of demonically, and then Eeyore takes out an electric cattle prod for some reason, and just when it seems like something really sinister is about to happen, Owl bursts into the storage unit and cold-cocks Eeyore with a brick, but it doesn’t faze Eeyore because he’s jacked on dust, and Eeyore starts shocking Owl with the cattle prod, and Piglet escapes the storage unit and starts running, but he’s still hallucinating, and he sees a water tower and thinks that it’s a giant, bloody pig head on a pike, and he keeps passing all these bums and hookers who are shouting things at him, but their voices just sound like pigs squealing with terror, and then Piglet is so scared that he runs and hides in a filthy gas station bathroom, but when he opens the first stall, Pooh is in there just strung out on honey, and Pooh says, “Hey there, buddy,” but he can’t get the sentence all the way out because he pukes all over his chest, and Piglet runs out screaming, and he goes into the gas station to ask the attendant for help, but the first things he sees there are the gas station hot dogs turning on the rollers, and in his -blam!-ed-up state they look like little, tiny piglets burning alive, and this is so distressing to him that he finally just passes out and slams his head against the bathroom floor, and that’s basically how the episode ends. Have you ever watched that one?

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