[b]So i wrote this the night I broke up with my ex. I've asked a few friends about it but wanted to hear some more about it. So let me know what you think. [/b]
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When I first heard from her
She said she was done
We were through
I didn't know what to think
What had happened
Is it true
Why's she saying this
Is it my fault
Am I to blame
I took it that way
And now the thought makes me go insane
Once it sank in and registered
I started to break down, shed my tears, from the hurt that festered
I don't know what else to think or say
But the feeling of sadness and total despair
Realizing a relationship beyond any repair
You and her through a heavy dissolution
And you can't seem to find any -blam!-ing solution
The old feeling of being the king of your girl And the only thing you feel is the burning in the underworld
Flaming up all in your writhing heart
So immensely hateful and insanely sharp
I ask myself what I did to deserve this pain
Might as well pull a gun to my head and make my blood rain
Discovering that she left me for another man
I think to myself in anxiety and awe
how can he
Take from me
All that makes me
Stand tall
Stand long
Keeps me going
Keeps me strong
Keeps me from seeing my insecurities
Keeps me from seeing my unfortunate flaws
She was the one that made me feel like a -blam!-ing god
But all I feel is like a lowly fraud
Left in the dirt to rot for all eternity
When I thought I already spent that looking for serenity
It went by so quick
It's like it barely happened
But then I think of all that we've done
Lookin back I had
Some of the greatest moments any man could ever dream to have
And now i sit here feeling how can It be done with
what we had
And now to say that we're finished
All I want is to be released from the pain of this
I just wish we could still be together
To go back to the feeling like we've won
Back to where I could praise you but I miss you
Especially how i miss it when you called me hun
You promised me I would never feel pain like this
Never to feel like a piece of shit
But here I am dying inside right now
And all I want to do I put myself in the ground
Did we ever even mean something
Or was this really just for nothing
Is this a test of what we stood for?
What did we stand for?
Cause Im seeing nothing in this dark void
All I'm seeing is betrayal of trust
Lies, deceit, and everything under the sun of the such
Sitting here thinking it's my final hour
before I put an end to it all
A bullet that'll free me from this hellfire trial
Wondering if there's some guardian angel to save me
To assure me
That things will get better
That everything will once again
reach the peak
Of all things that are great
And I'll be happy
But without any hope in sight
I get ready to end the fight
I take this glock and put it in my mouth
I sit in silence and tears praying someone will save me from this fate
as I start to pull the trigger and hear the hammer click
I say to myself "this is it"
I pull the trigger
Pop goes the gun
but I don't feel anything except what I feel right now
It only felt as if words passed right through me
Kinda like a light breeze
I sit there wondering what the hell actually happened to me
As I pull the gun back
I see what I could never imagine
The head of the bullet poking out of the barrel
What had happened
Was it a misfire
A mistake
What happened to stop what I thought was true fate
To stop my own death in a frozen state
As I look up in front of me
Raising my head to see what was even the point
I saw it standing there comfortingly
it wasn't the angel I had asked for
but rather a demon staring straight into me
Once I understood why it was there
I realized that I don't need an ensemble of angles protecting me
But rather an army of demons always fighting for me
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Damn that's pretty deep