As I spent last night[u] [i]tossing and turning[/i][/u] and trying to come up with ways to change my[b] in-game, visual/color blind settings[/b] to somehow show my red-lag bar as green on other players' consoles, I stumbled upon a[b] GAME CHANGER[/b] of a [u]hidden message[/u]. Seems that the Cryptarch isn't the only one that can do some de-crypting--[b] [i]minus 30 light-level gear for everyone!!![/i][/b]
Ok, so my [u]"discovery"[/u] centers around [b]Ms. Eris Morn[/b]...aka- [i]Crota Woman[/i] (as given by forum members)...aka- [b]TripleTap/TripleSight[/b]...aka- [u]The Flaken Queen[/u]. Hadium Flakes, that is.....[b]"Theeeey'rrre Greeeaaaaatttt!!!"[/b]
Yes, I uncovered something [b]so secretive[/b] that I almost couldn't believe Eris's three eyes!!! Please, if you do not wish to [b]reap the spoils[/b] of this[b] fruitful offering[/b], [i]I beg of you to look away[/i]. If you choose to stay, read and bear witness to the unveiling of this mystery[b] that is larger than Phogoth's forehead[/b]...well, [u]don't say I didn't warn you!![/u]
Through [b]special, super-secretive diabolical decoding[/b], and [i]delicately intricate font manipulation[/i], I have stumbled upon something [b]rather astounding[/b]. If you look at this phrase:
[b]"Eris Morn, Is Crota's Bane!"[/b]
....and rearrange all of the letters, and even punctuation, you will be [b]shocked[/b] to find out just what those boxes of raisins are for. Again,[u] look away if need be[/u]. Some may not be able to handle what they are about to see! When rearranging the phrase, [b]"Eris Morn, is Crota's Bane!"[/b]....you get...
[spoiler][b]Can store 'em raisins, bro! [/b][/spoiler]
[b]WHOOOAHHH![/b] Guardian say [i]Whaaaat?!?!?!?[/i] Check for yourself-- every letter, every comma/apostrophe/exclamation point is accounted for. Seems [b]"Ol' Drippy Cheeks"[/b] has quite the sense of humor, after all!!!
I'll give you a minute to[b] reattach your jaws[/b] and let the smoke clear! [u]Wow-- what a discovery[/u]. [b]But wait there's more!!![/b] Seems that phrase of,[i] "Eris Morn, Is Crota's Bane"[/i] holds more hidden meaning than first meets [b]her third eye[/b]! Here's what else you can decode from that phrase alone...again, performed through the use of [b]high-tech, intricate[/b] alpha-rearrangery![i] (punctuation not manipulated, in these cases.)[/i]
[spoiler][b]nor raisins become art[/b][/spoiler]
...and...
[spoiler][b]Can't sober???...More raisins!!![/b][/spoiler]
..and...
[spoiler][b]More raisins??? ... Beats corn!!![/b][/spoiler]
...and this one which I believe may just hint to a new weapon perk or dare I say,[b] a new exotic weapon itself[/b]. Dare...dare...take that plunge...[b]dare, I say!![/b] Quite possibly this clue is a leak and reference to an infusing of two Exotics: [i]Monte Carlo (bayonet) with the Necrochasm[/i]:
[spoiler][b]More Raisins = Necro Stab![/b][/spoiler]
[u]What the Hellmouth!!![/u] A new weapon called the Necro Stab!!![b] GUARDIANS...hold on to those boxes!!![/b] Seems that more boxes of wrinkly goodage are surely on the way and they will surely lead to an[b] end game type of weapon[/b]. [u]Unload all[b] "unnecessary" [/b]320 Exotics and other now seemingly useless junk[/u]. [b]Ol' Sour Grapes[/b] has something in store for us, it seems--- and it ain't just dried up humor!!!
Oh, and I also stumbled upon[b] this mind blowing, and boggling[/b], discovery. Seems Eris has two sisters from other misters!!! Yes there are three of them little rays of blight!!!
[spoiler][b]Eris Morn......her sister, Aphtuhr Noone (a delight)......and her other sister, Summurse Eve (a real douche, I hear)[/b][/spoiler]
Well , that's it for me...I must take a while for my [u]wormspore to digest[/u] all of this. I'm in shock. I'm in disbelief. I'm in sane! Too many mysteries revealed...in such little time.
Like.........[b][i]"wrinkles on the surface of my MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDDD!!!"[/i][/b]
[b]*** EDIT *** I just want to thank everyone for the nice and positive comments. I did this just to try to express some creativity, to be funny, and to maybe produce a laugh or a smile from a couple people. I've always lived by the thought that if you can make just one person laugh and/or smile in any given day, well, then...that's a pretty good day. I appreciate the showing of support and the fun that followed my post. There are some super funny and creative people here on the forums and I think the forums could use more of that kind of positive posting.
If any wish to check out some of my other meager attempts at humor, via song parodies, here's a link to the most recent one that celebrates the Glory (and shame) of the Iron Banner. It was done a few IB's (not Irritable Bowels, mind you) ago and at the bottom of it are links to some of my other Holiday parodies-- again, all done in good fun. If you take the time to check them out, I thank you and hope that you enjoy them.
[url]https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/193585716/0/0/1[/url]
Once again, thank you Guardians, for your support and time. [/b]
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I like how you've taken the time to construct a thoughtful response to most of the comments here. I wish I could sit on you lap and pretend you were my grandfather