Are you tired of [i]other sellers[/i] charging your fusion rifles with [b][i]flaccid lettuce?[/i][/b] Companies promising you [i][b]more ammo[/b][/i], then finding out it's for your sidearm? Are you [b]FED UP[/b] with claims of legendary glory only to be shat on from the skies above with perks like [i]"surrounded"[/i] or [i]"guerilla fighter"[/i]?
...then you're in THE [b]RIGHT PLACE![/b] With more opportunity in front of you than a dev and a [b]fusion rifle,[/b] we'll have you taken™ names, and slayin babes before you can say [b][i]nerf the Weyloran's March.[/i][/b]
Now, keep in mind folks, this is a [b][i]forum limited time offer,[/i][/b] not found on Reddit. [i][b]Wait![/b][/i] What am I selling you? Well, curious kittens, I'm giving you the [b]IRON BANNER DEAL OF A LIFETIME.[/b]
Searching for that perfect camping spot? We've got spots for you [b][i]and[/i][/b] your friend to pitch a tent! It's not leg day, it's a game! You can [b][i]make like fabric softener and snuggle[/i][/b] in these cozy forum-only-offered camping locations. With great views of [b]A[/b] and [b]C,[/b] and just a short blink to [b]B,[/b] you can confidently write [i][b]"Mercy"[/b][/i] in your diary.
Tell me a secret, you shiny-star of badassery, do you like...[spoiler]heavy ammo?[/spoiler]You sure as [b]flippity-skip-grenade[/b] do! I've got [i][b]the[/b][/i] heavy deal of a lifetime. I'll get you the [b]biggest[/b] mag in town. All natural, with no side effects. [b]YOUR TEAMMATES WON'T EVEN NEED HEAVY![/b] They'll be thanking you for taking the pressure off of them when you go solo with the [b]Thunderpone.[/b] [i](if heavy ammo lasts more than four hours please consult the official Bungie™ #help forum).[/i]
I don't even have [b][i]time[/i][/b] to explain all the sweet deals we've got for you! [b]Supers[/b] that cycle faster than your ex in high school. [b]Grenades[/b] that burn more than that one true love you may never know again because she left you for vague reasons at a track meet never to be heard from again and also had to drive you the half hour back from the meet because your car had a bad transmission and then she moved to a [b][i]different country[/i][/b] and you still sometimes see her mom in the frozen foods section of Walmart.
[b]BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE.[/b]
Order now, [b][i]right -blam!-ing now,[/i][/b] and we'll [b]DOUBLE[/b] your rep!
[b]A N D I M N O T D O N E Y E T[/b]
Order [i][b]right now [u]AND[/u][/b][/i] refer a friend to do the same, and you'll receive the [i][b]official[/b][/i] fusion dance emote.
It doesn't get much better than this folks. Do yourselves a favor and [b]ORDER NOW! [/b]
-
Your funny Senpai.
-
Nerf the waylorens march... I didn't get anything FALSE ADVERTISING ALERT SCAM ITS ALL A SCAM MUTED AND REPORTED
-
After the flaccid lettuce and track meet monologue I have to say this made me laugh out loud awkwardly in my engineering class. Please, continue what you do; every new thread is like a y2 ballerhorn for the forums.
-
I don't ask much. I just want to die.
-
holy u got me xlnt
-
"flaccid lettuce" = The most hilarious thing I have seen all year. Cheers !
-
It finally happened. The forums are officially as boring as actual Destiny.
-
[quote]Grenades that burn more than that one true love you may never know again because she left you for vague reasons at a track meet never to be heard from again and also had to drive you the half hour back from the meet because your car had a bad transmission and then she moved to a different country and you still sometimes see her mom in the frozen foods section of Walmart.[/quote] This....So. Much. This. You win sir....GG
-
I don't know the exact time you stopped being funny, but it has happened.
-
THUNDERPONE, HO!
-
[b][i][u]NICE.[/u][/i][/b]
-
1 please
-
I'll take 2
-
I will take 7
-
For free... ????
-
If Lindsey tried to get back together with you you would be cool to have a threesome with me right?
-
You just made my day. [b][][][][/b]
-
You had me at 'flaccid lettuce'.
-
What a rip off! I purchased and now it takes my fusion rifle [b]forever[/b] to charge up. Still waiting for the burst to come out.
-
*throws money at the screen*
-
[b]Flaccid lettuce? more ammo, FED UP RIGHT PLACE! fusion rifle, nerf Weyloran's March. forum limited time offer, wait! IRON BANNER DEAL OF A LIFETIME. and make like fabric softener and snuggle A C, B, "Mercy" flippity-skip-grenade the biggest YOU TEAMMATES WONT'T EVEN NEED HEAVY! Thunderpone. time super grenades different countryBUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. right -blam!-ing now, DOUBLE A N D I M N O T D O N E Y E T right now [u]AND[/u] official ORDER NOW[/b] Secret message unclear. Please explain.
-
Awesome montage inside (: ---> https://youtu.be/oV_xxrlvoXw I do this for fun so enjoy!
-
I just ordered and received my Thunderpone TODAY. Quick delivery thanks! I only have one complaint, why is it dyed black and why in gods name would anyone want one THAT long??!!! p.s. Girlfriend just ordered several more for all her friends Thanks again ponethepoon from another satisfied customer!
-
Dang that burns. I'm sorry man, she's a bitch anyways.
-
Found your pants yet
-
Dick in toaster, help