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originally posted in: Who's up to critique?
2/10/2016 3:34:48 AM
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I know this is a bit old and I am late; however, I'm in a poetic mood in this moment and just finished writing one of my own when I happened upon your work. I'll give it my interpretation and what it meant to me. :) [quote]Can you hear us, from ivory towers? Voices from beneath your poison bowers, Calling out in hopes you hear us, A plea for help from far below.[/quote] Ivory towers suggest to me a higher being or something unnatainable and untouchable that holds power over something, perhaps over a broad group of people under the guise of helping i.e poison bowers something that looks pleasant but is in fact not. [quote]Can you see us, beneath your feet? Crowding the humbled, filthy streets. Huddled masses on chilly days, Trading privacy for warmth.[/quote] The first line suggests what was hinted at before, something holding power over the POV being crushed beneath it. Crowded, humble - poor, filthy streets, so perhaps a 3rd world country or a downtrodden group of people. Forced together to survive, no room to be modest. [quote]Can you smell the scent of decay? The far, forsaken souls tossed away. The weak, the young, abused and abandoned; Blood, bone, and tears to fuel your greed.[/quote] The last line I felt was speaking to me the reader, taking for granted everything in life on a daily basis never questioning what or whom was destroyed in the process so long as we live in comfort at the expense of others. [quote]Can you bear that bitter taste? Will you change, or make amends? Will you heed the downtrodden choir? Lest your possessions be your only friends.[/quote] First line suggests a realization of the things mentioned above and asks as the reader's conscience. Heeding the downtrodden choir, voices of the weak and exploited, or else your material things will be the only thing left in your life. I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing, it's a great piece. I tend to gravitate towards more depressing subjects when I write, not that this was overly depressing or anything. Really hints at a larger picture in my opinion. :D [spoiler]Sorry if the formatting is wonk, mobile phone. [/spoiler]
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  • Not going to lie, you more or less captured the bulk of my thoughts when I was writing this. I won't say your interpretation is "correct", because I don't write with the intent of creating a piece which is only meant to be taken from a singular perspective, but your thoughts were quite in line with what was going through my head at the time. Thank you for taking the time to analyze the piece, and the format you did it in was excellent. :)

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  • I completely agree and I didn't mean for my interpretation to be correct either. A lot of times I don't fully understand the scope of the things that I write because it's in the moment and I forget later on. But I enjoyed it and I'm glad we could share in similar thoughts!

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  • Same, sometimes I don't even really remember writing some of the things I do. Occasionally that can be nice, though, if you feel whatever you rediscover was actually worth reading. I know not everything i've done is. lol But anytime you'd like someone to take a look at your own work, feel free to see it my way. I can't promise i'd do well at it, but i'd be glad to try returning the favor for you.

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