I needn't have argued with my girlfriend about what chores we would each do around the house on Saturday, had I known earlier that I'd be playing [b]Control[/b] on [b][i]Cathedral of Dusk,[/i][/b] I'd have done them all.
It was around [b]2PM[/b] on this brisk Saturday afternoon, when I began my descent to the [b][i]Dreadnought.[/i][/b] I was feeling frisky and ready for the match, I was [b]over encumbered[/b] with [i]Medallions of Iron[/i] and I knew this would be the match to cash them in.
[spoiler]...how wrong I was.[/spoiler]
I spawned in cheerful enough, [b][i]until I saw the markers to the zones.[/i][/b] My eyes lost their lust, and I'm pretty sure somewhere, somebody was getting [b]friend-zoned.[/b] In fact, they would have more luck capturing [b][i]that[/i][/b] zone than I would with [b][i]B.[/i][/b]
Luckily for myself, I scored a sweet deal on [b][i]Scotch Tape[/i][/b] from the post-christmas sale. I applied no less than one roll to the joystick, aiming my Guardian towards [b][i]B,[/i][/b] and proceeded to do the laundry.
My girlfriend was quite pleased to see me not only load the washer, but transfer the clothes to the dryer [b][i]and[/i][/b] fold them quickly afterwards.
[i]"No Destiny today, PONETHEPOON?"[/i]
With a laugh that was equal parts [b]heart breaking,[/b] and [b]sadistic[/b], with at least [b]5% sorrow,[/b] I said [b][i]"Oh I'm playing, but we're on Cathedral of Dusk today."[/i][/b]
She had [b]no idea[/b] what that meant, yet a single tear rolled down her cheek.
I checked the TV to see that I was halfway to [b][i]B,[/i][/b] [i][b]"making pretty good time..."[/b][/i] I thought to myself.
I spent the next hour checking around the house for pants, followed by walking the cat and rewatching the [b][i]Star Wars Saga.[/i][/b]
I switched the TV back over to the channel [b][i]Destiny[/i][/b] was on, and saw that I was only [b]five minutes[/b] away from [b][i]B.[/i][/b] With baited breath I saw the zone come into sight, [b]I WAS THE FIRST ONE THERE![/b]
[b]Cheers all around![/b] I was screaming, the cat was screaming, my girlfriend was screaming because me and the cat were screaming.
[b]CAPTURING B,
0.04%...
3%...
10%....
23%...
41%...
50%...
69%...
78%...
99%....[/b]
[spoiler][b]ERROR CODE: Beaver[/b][/spoiler]
ohoho how did i miss this one
[spoiler]that's right, gentlemen, do the laundry once in a while and maybe your girlfriend will give you that error too[/spoiler]
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