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Destiny

Discuss all things Destiny.
Edited by Kalinka: 1/21/2016 10:35:50 PM
20

*Takes deep breath*

What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! [b]THEN YOU NEED[u] PEREGRINE GREAVES[/u]!!![/b] PUT THESE[b] SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND[b] YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES[/b]. THEY ARE[b] GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED! [/b]BEDAZZLED WITH THE[b] STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE[b] ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b] YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND[b] THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH![/b][b] YOUR SON WILL DIE! [/b]YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b] YOU WILL[b] TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE [/b]AND YOU WILL[b] MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL[b] F*** THEM UP![/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE![/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS [/b]AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS![/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS[/b]...[b][i]CAREFULLY[/i][/b].... [b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES[/b], DIVING INTO THEIR[b] NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING [/b]THEM WITH YOUR[b] ENERGY LEGS[/b]! IT IS[b] YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU[/b]---wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b] YOU WILL[b] RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE[b] ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET,[i] SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH[/b]! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE [/b]AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM![b] EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED [/b]AS[b] YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY[b] FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF[i] TEXAAAAAAS! [/i] [/b] [b]PEREGRINE[i] GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b] Edit: Ok so alot of people are saying that this was really funny and that I should make more but please read the tags. This is not my work and I do not want to plagerise. Unfortunetly I do not know who the original author of this was so I cannot give him/her the credit Edit: Original author is Always Feral. You're hilarious bro :).

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  • Edited by Wr3ckitR4lph: 1/21/2016 3:35:44 PM
    Got my second pair of 310 peregrine greaves yesterday. Infused them into some legendary boots. Now those legendary boot are also peregrine greaves. Turns out you can't destroy peregrine greaves. Peregrine greaves consumes all.

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