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1/19/2016 2:51:37 AM
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Who's up to critique?

I wrote another poem, and i'd like to see what y'all think of it. Always open to constructive criticism, speculations about what it's about, all of that. No draft is a final draft, and i'm always open to rewriting my work if I feel it isn't good enough. Anyway, hope you enjoy the read, if nothing else. [quote]Can you hear us, from ivory towers? Voices from beneath your poison bowers, Calling out in hopes you hear us, A plea for help from far below. Can you see us, beneath your feet? Crowding the humbled, filthy streets. Huddled masses on chilly days, Trading privacy for warmth. Can you smell the scent of decay? The far, forsaken souls tossed away. The weak, the young, abused and abandoned; Blood, bone, and tears to fuel your greed. Can you bear that bitter taste? Will you change, or make amends? Will you heed the downtrodden choir? Lest your possessions be your only friends.[/quote]

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  • Edited by MikeCheck: 1/19/2016 9:16:24 PM
    Very Nice. But why do you sound so gotdamn DEPRESSING??? What ever happened to flowers and love and joy and sunshine and fat @sses? Halmark will NOT be calling you to write their next card if this trend continues. Smoke some w33d before your next one and cheer up a bit. Eagerly awaiting your next, (not so making me want to cut myself) poem. :D

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